Rob Dyrdek has taught us so many things over the years, from what it means to love a Big man to how the awesomeness of being a kid can live on within a “Fantasy Factory.” However, when it comes to cautionary tales, there is no finer teaching tool than Rob’s crowning glory: the ode to accidents we call “Ridiculousness.” Each week, we’ll pass along the three most valuable life lessons handed down by Rob and his crew in order to keep you safe, sound and off of this show.
Life Lesson #1: High school’s full of fools.
With physical education programs being cut left and right, how are teenagers supposed to get out all of their angsty, hormonal rage? By turning to some very…uh, creative alternatives. In “Riff Raff High,” kids show off how they’re managing to break a sweat in school these days, from racing chairs down hallways to jumping over desks. Just remember, if you think the building you’re in looks shoddy, the furniture you’re performing your low-budget Olympics on is 10x less likely to hold up, so make sure your parents have a clause in that college fund that’ll pay for your medical bills.
Life Lesson #2: The harder they mall, the harder they fall.
Ah, the mall. America’s #1 treasure may be the most exciting place for suburban teenagers everywhere, but sometimes, the combination of shiny things to buy, the chicks walking around in PINK sweatpants and that ever-present smell of pretzels adds up to a feeling of invincibility that can lead to some pretty stupid ideas. Whether you’re sliding down an escalator railing onto your face, taking a bath in the mall fountain or taking a dump into a potted plant outside The Limited, you are, in the words of “Ridiculousness” Poet Laureate Riff Raff, participating in some “Middle Of The Mall S**t.”
Life Lesson #3: The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Helmets — what are those nerd hats even for? When you’re trying to do a sweet backflip on some concrete or just skateboard off a roof, helmets would be a real impediment to all of the cool stuff you’re about to exhibit. That is, until your feet fail you and the only thing protecting your knowledge box is that thin shell of bone we call a skull. Oh…not becoming a short-term memory loss victim with a rattled brain? That’s what helmets are for.
+ What other lessons did you learn from last night’s episode? Let us know in the comments!
Dig Remote Control? Follow us on Twitter, like, now.