Before yesterday, many people (including us) had never once heard of a “c**t punt” (“the act of kicking a woman in her genital region,” according to a fairly recent Urban Dictionary submission) and we’re not quite sure if that’s a blessing or a shame. Either way, as of today, the noun/verb combo has surpassed the popularity of various blogger jargon go-tos such as welp, amirite, YOLO and possibly even d**chebag (it’s too soon to tell).
It was a Delta Gamma sorority chick’s verbose, CAP-ridden email, which was featured in a Gawker article, that started it all, spreading like rapid fire across the internet as Americans eagerly devoured any type of distraction from a week that truly sucked. To quote just a snippet from the University of Maryland mean girl’s rant: “I will fucking c**t punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a f**k if you SOR me, I WILL F**KING ASSAULT YOU.” You guys, Regina George is all growns up!
Officials at national Delta Gamma headquarters are seething, understandably. “Right now the office staff is investigating the legitimacy of this letter, the alleged author and will take appropriate actions as necessary,” its Facebook page reads. But we see no need for punishment — you can only fight hate with love. Instead, we asked Jamie Lee of MTV’s new comedy series, “Girl Code,” to perform a dramatic reading of the egregious missive. Here’s her abbreviated version, which is still really, really long.
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Photo: Colin Gray