Rob Dyrdek has taught us so many things over the years, from what it means to love a Big man to how the awesomeness of being a kid can live on within a “Fantasy Factory.” However, when it comes to cautionary tales, there is no finer teaching tool than Rob’s crowning glory: the ode to accidents we call “Ridiculousness.” Each week, we’ll pass along the three most valuable life lessons handed down by Rob and his crew in order to keep you safe, sound and off of this show.
On last night’s episode, Rob welcomed UFC President Dana White, who knows a thing or two about what it takes to keep injury-prone people alive. Here’s what we learned with help from the UFC champ:
Life Lesson #1: There’s always an appropriate target for your inappropriate anger.
Is that video game making you unreasonably mad? Is that speech you’re giving not going so well? If there’s somebody (or something) within reach that won’t hit back, smack ’em, smash ’em or otherwise make ’em feel your piping hot wrath. Sure, that’s how prisons get filled, but don’t let that deter you from finally making your frustration a thing of the past.
Life Lesson #2: Chicks can be d**ks.
Throw your knowledge about girls being sugar and spice and everything nice right out the window, because the ladies on this show are made out of only two things: adrenaline and rage. Whether it’s laying a nasty egg in another chick’s face, crotch-punching a workout partner or covering a pal’s head in shaving cream applied with a bare buttox, these women remind us what the suffragettes were fighting for.
Life Lesson #3: Nothing good starts with a guy in a banana hammock.
So…you bought a man thong. Perhaps you liked the like the color and the European style. Or maybe you just dig the way it shapes your junk. Regardless of the reasoning behind your awful purchase, the second you get on camera in that bad boy, all of your terrible shopping karma is going to come back to you in the form of ball-busting fails and falls of the most literal variety. Put that sucker back in the drawer, because no matter how flattering you think it is, it’ll only bring you pain, dude.
+What other life lessons did you learn from last night’s episode? Let us know in the comments!
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