Dear "Dancing With The Stars,"
It has come to our attention that you have passed on Deena Nicole Cortese of "Jersey Shore" to compete on your 16th season of the show, and we here at Remote Control are confounded. Where is your head? Where is your heart? And why have you deliberately stricken from the roster someone who promised she could do "tricks"? For shame, heads of casting and all like-minded parties. As if you'll find this type of magic in some weathered athlete or soap opera actors who struggle with the roles of amnesiacs.
Since first appearing on "Jersey Shore" four seasons ago, Deena has been a human provision of ballroom-worthy elegance, classic sophistication and perfect balance. Kidding! She's a clumsy party girl, but aren't we all clumsy party girls? Denying Deena the right to dance after she assured us her assigned partner could "like, throw me all over the place, you know?" is nothing short of social travesty. Would early "SNL" have been the same without Gilda Radner? "Sesame Street" as resonant without the perky Maria? Certainly not, and now, you have forfeited the chance to get your hands on a shining star. Your loss.
D, we'll always have dancing in the street.
Skeptical of the Mirror Ball's next holder,
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