Poor Nicole was pretty bummed to be the only sober person at her housewarming party during last week’s episode of “Snooki & JWOWW,” which came mere days after getting ribbed by a still in-the-dark (and wine box-toting) Deena for drinking something virginal from a wine glass. Snooks thought she was being sneaky in sipping cranberry juice out of fancy stemware while hosting a din-din and secret-sharing shindig for her “Jersey Shore” housemates, but there’s no fooling a bunch of Karma regulars when it comes to alcohol percentage. Or is there?
Snooki might not have run into trubs if she’d put a little more effort into her faux bev. Allow us to dust off our bartenders’ licenses and help a preggers guidette out with these five mocktails:
What It Looks Like: Rum & Cherry Coke
What It Is: Snooki Wild Cherry Soda
Just nix the sauce, Captain Obvious. And garnish with a cherry or five. No one has to be the wiser, unless you give them a sample. Plus, it’s our bev of choice when we’re DD.
What It Looks Like: Apple martini
What It Is: Pickle-tini
Mix one part water with two parts juice from the funky cucumber for a delectable liquid treat that only a meatball would love.
What It Looks Like: Snooki Snack (formerly known as the Scooby Snack)
What It Is: Straight-Laced Snooki Snack
Nicole’s old drink of choice at the Seaside Beachcomber Bar & Grill was an ultra-sweet mix of coconut rum, creme de bananes, melon liqueur, pineapple juice and whipped cream. The virgin goodness consists of two parts pineapple juice and one part coconut water topped with as much whipped cream as Snooks (and her little one) can stomach.
What It Looks Like: Ron Ron Juice
What It Is: Ron Juice
This virgin alternative only gets one Ron. Blend that lone cranberry juice with some seedless watermelon, blueberries, a few maraschino cherries and ice, and you’re left with Ronnie’s famed fruity concoction. Minus the vodka. Furniture on the porch, optional.
What It Looks Like: JWOWW’s Island Cooler
What It Is: The Virgin Snooki Cooler
Adapted from “The Rules According To JWOWW,” this bevvie we just now made up includes equal parts pineapple and guava juice with a splash of seltzer. Garnish with a pineapple wedge if you’re feeling classy.
+ Would you guzzle any of these virgin drinks? Or perhaps you want to share a few mocktail ’cipes of your own with our beloved Snooks? Please do!
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