Lauren Conrad Is The Emily Post Of Hugging Etiquette

Well, we can certainly put this one to rest: When it comes to drawn-out mutual apologies between two former best friends and subsequent co-loathers who find themselves stranded on a boat during a birthday party in sparkly dresses, a single-arm shoulder-wrap is most appropriate. Because you never know when...

Author and cotton candy-head Lauren Conrad, whose website is generally reserved for tips on keeping dates classy (remember: "Ask him what he is ordering and pick something of equivalent or lesser value"), finally took a stand against a common social affront: the bad hug. You've surely cringed at a handshake-and-then-some at work functions, and--don't lie--have accidentally smooched that second-cousin on account of a lean-in cheek-kiss that lost its way. No more, says the "Hills" alum--it's time to nip crap embraces in the bud.

So that there's no longer any confusion when it comes to the big torso-touch, here's some key LC advice that clearly separates the go-for-it moments from the smile-politely-instead repressions.

1. If you arrive somewhere to find a big group of friends and acquaintances, shake the hands of those you are just meeting and hug your friends.

Peanut gallery says: What if the acquaintance has buffalo chicken pizza? A spare garlic bread stick? Ehh, let's move on...

2. In a professional setting, it’s best to err on the safe side and not hug unless you are at an after-hours function or holiday party and the occasion seems appropriate. Regardless, it’s always best to ask when you find yourself in a work-related setting.

Peanut gallery says: If you see mistletoe or a drink featuring a cinnamon stick, go in for the kill. Got it.

3) Recognize that there are types of hugs: For family and close friends, two-arm hugs are fine. For everyone else, it’s best to give a one-arm hug. Be careful not to linger with one-arm hugs--two to three seconds is perfect.

Peanut gallery says: Add 2 seconds per every alcoholic drink.

Enlightened? Glad to hear it. Now get out there and spread the do-or-don't word. The perfect hug awaits (or doesn't).

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