When "Hunger Games" hunk Josh Hutcherson (aka Peeta) got punk'd last week (homeboy was seriously paranoid over a seemingly harmless java expedition), our fantasy wheels started turning. You know, those ADD-fueled wheels in our heads that click on whenever we tune out the boss lady during a bloggy meeting. (Sorry, Lisa.)
We're obsessed with "THG," so what if we were thrust inside the Capitol alongside Katniss and Peeta with a top-secret mission...to prank the hell out of everyone? (Hey, we need something productive to do while we twiddle our thumbs until November 22, 2013. Now we know how those Twihards felt!)
Here's how we'd punk Katniss, Peeta and the rest of the gang...
Katniss Everdeen: The Girl on Fire and supreme master of the bow and arrow would be in for a real treat when she went to wash down some hearty squirrel meat with water from her canteen...only to realize it had been replaced with Ron Ron Juice. She'd probably get pretty heated (or sloppy drunk), which is why we'd blame the whole thing on her alcoholic mentor, Haymitch.
Effie Trinket: The odds are clearly not in Effie's favor, 'cause she'd get a lipstick tube full of deer doo-doo. The woman overdoes it with ridiculous makeup, over-the-top hair and flashy fashions, and it's high-time she gets taken down a notch. This prank would put Minny's chocolate pie (a la "The Help") to shame.
Haymitch Abernathy: Basically, the opposite of what we'd do to Katniss, but with the same desired results. Kool-Aid in the ol' flask! 'Course, we'd keep the man's booze close by in case the DTs immediately kicked in.
Gale Hawthorne: Get the brooding hunter with one of his own snares! Once trapped, we'd taunt him with a bunch of mockingjays that echo his cries. Too harsh? Oh well, we're on Team Peeta.
Peeta Mellark: We would propose to him, on hand and knee. But it wouldn't be a prank.
+ How would you mess with the "THG" crew? What about the rest of the characters, like President Snow? Dude sucks balls--we gotta get him good.
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Photo: Courtesy of Lionsgate