Just like Groundhog Day or the arrival of Target's next designer collaboration, we waited with bated breath for "The Situation" to drop the big bomb on "Jersey Shore" during last week's episode. After Mike disclosed his scandalous maybe-cheating secret to Jionni, Snooki's boo barely batted an eye (did you hear what he just said, Jionni?)--we've seen people get more upset about the line at the post office!
Mike literally said that he hooked up with the meatball, and Jionni just responded "thanks," offered a handshake and exited stage left. Time and time again, his chill personality has proven to be a great asset, so let's look to the future and consider how Jionni's laid-back swag will benefit the ostensible chaos that could interfere with the Polizzi-LaValle clan.
Meatball In The Oven: The pains of pregnancy--weight gain, mood swings and that whole delivery part--are plentiful. Having a strong, even-tempered lover in the Emergency Room will surely help Snooki get through the birth of their child.
Pesky Paps: Now that Snooks and Jionni are sealing the matrimonial deal, the camera jockeys are going to be hungry to capture every detail of their relationship, wedding and baby. Celebs have been known to get a little testy when the paparazzi gets vicious, but J will be there to respectfully shoo them away. Then he'll shake their hands.
Mr. Mom: As soon as Snooki delivers, he'll have two meatballs on his hands. Kids are damn cute, but they sure don't know how to sleep through the night. We all know how Snooks needs her beauty rest, but something tells us Jionni will be willing to man up and take the lead.
Handling The Unit: Though The Unit's message has already been delivered, something tells us that he's not going to go gentle into that good night. Jionni's gonna need to be ready to swat him and his storytelling away anytime he wanders around.
Possible Stalkers: Creepers come with the territory, just look at what Pauly D goes through! With Snooki's man becoming a permanent staple in her life, it's quite possible that chain saw-toting stalkers may start lurking around Jionni. He'll need to be on his toes.
That's a lot of guido problems! Good thing Jionni seems to handle the unusual pressures of the "Shore" pretty well already.
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