'Pants' Amateur Olympics: James Franco's Ravioli Isn't A Dating Cure-all

The twentysomething Brooklynites of "I Just Want My Pants Back" might be masters of witty banter, but their actions speak louder than words--and their actions are often questionable. We're taking a look at the most amateurish (yet awesome) behavior exhibited each week, and keeping a running tally of who's least likely to ever ditch the training wheels and leave the borough's squalor behind them.

TINA: Though Tina was conscious of the fact that "slow jam" Brett only thought of her as an NSA sex object, her hopes for more shone through when the guy invited her to a party (James Franco's ravioli party, to be exact) with his friends. Once Tina arrived, she was bombarded with pretense, locally harvested vegetable medleys and general douchebaggery, and she saw clearly just how little Brett respected her by acting like she didn't exist. Though she eventually came to her senses and ditched the actor/student/author/singer/professor's shindig, anyone with senses and an iota of judgment could have told the show's resident sarcasmo you won't find clarity at a party thrown by a guy who cut his own arm off.

AMATEUR STANDING: Gold

JASON: J nearly earned his second consecutive gold medal, but when someone places her fate in James Franco's hands, all other contenders for the top spot immediately fall to the wayside. After quitting his mind-numbing reception job and learning that the employment Lench set up was actually an unpaid internship, luck was finally on Jason's side when he scored an interview for his dream job while networking at Franco's party (OK, one point for the ravioli). Unfortunately, when the "Pants" frontman spotted Jane and ditched his otherwise-perfect interview to chase after her, he forfeited his career hopes, a means of medical insurance and the title of a guy who wasn't a shameful moron. Good luck paying rent with nickels.

AMATEUR STANDING: Silver

ERIC AND STACEY: There's no shame in being content as a long-running couple, but Eric and Stacey felt they had hit a rut when the sound of morning sex upstairs perturbed them. The pair of postgrads decided to spice things up when they were casually invited to a small-scale orgy by the noisy neighbors they'd intended to reprimand, and somehow thought they'd be able to hang. Obviously, the two who were busy studying and eating Cap'n Crunch only hours before weren't ready for group sex when the opportunity finally presented itself, and resumed their lives as a pair of prudes after escaping.

AMATEUR STANDING: Bronze

Dig Remote Control? Follow us on Twitter, like, now.