You are exceedingly lucky, reader. Why? You had the pleasure of sitting down with Beavis and Butt-Head for an entire hour tonight, which meant the chance to catch two episodes and four different imbecile misadventures. From roaming what the two nitwits believed to be a post-apocalyptic world to adopting a rat as a pet after trying to kill it, B&B had a lot on their plates and still somehow made time to denounce evolution and all who believe in it.
Check out what the mouthy teens had to say about eternal damnation, oily chicks and everything in between during Episodes 6 and 7:
“That son of a bitch ate our nachos.”
“That’s right, Beavis, and that is a crime for which it must be punished.”
— Butt-Head responds to Beavis, who notices a pesky rat eating his favorite food.
“Heh. You like this.”
— Butt-Head mocks Beavis, who catches his friend enjoying Oh Land’s “White Nights.”
“The rich guy is probably like, ‘Uh, these are all great ideas. But, eh, I think it would be, like, really empowering if you took off your clothes and jump off a cliff.’”
— Butt-Head, continuing to analyze the video for “White Nights.”
“Wow, Beavis, that rat must really like you. He must be, like, a metrosexual or something.”
— Butt-Head, on Beavis’ new friend.
“I’m gonna report this–this is a health violation!”
“Yeah, the food here sucks.”
— A woman complains to Burger World employee Butt-Head after finding a rat in her order.
“Maybe if he’d go buy something instead of monkeying around on the escalator the economy wouldn’t suck.”
— Butt-Head, on an actor in the the video for “My Machines” by Battles, who is falling down an escalator.
“The oil spill in The Gulf isn’t just hurting people, it’s hurting plants and animals, which are two other kinds of life.”
— A local reporter’s coverage.
“Woah, you can get arrested for being an idiot?!”
“Yeah, you better lay low for awhile, Beavis.”
— Beavis and Butt-Head chat while watching TV.
“The end of the world kicks ass.”
— Beavis, who’s wandering his evacuated neighborhood but believes he’s experiencing life in a post-apocalyptic world.
“What do we do now, like, go home?”
“No, butt-monkey–the world is ours. We can go anywhere we want to. Let’s go live at Stuart’s house.”
— Beavis wonders what he should do in a world without people, and Butt-Head makes a suggestion.
“I see your spacesuit, like, saved you from the acopalypse–so do you wanna, like, recopulate the earth?”
— Butt-Head to a scientist, who’s checking the neighborhood for stragglers that missed calls to evacuate.
“You know, it really is uplifting.”
— Beavis, on the horror movie “Human Centipede.”
“This is geometry, not evolution, OK?”
“Tell that to the Lord.”
— Mr. Van Driessen addresses Butt-Head, who’s refusing to do schoolwork out of fake religious protest.
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