When we first met Captain Dashell and the rest of the “Death Valley” gang, we knew there’d be bloodshed to come. But nothing could have possibly prepared us for how much. It’ll be nice to make it through future Mondays without needing a barf bag, but we’ll surely miss the crew that’s kept SoCal safe throughout the past 12 weeks.
In honor of tonight’s final episode of “DV,” we thought it was only fitting to put together the finest and most dry heave-inducing kills from the season. From knives to skin-crisping UV rays, and cuts across the neck to a light bulb through the heart, here are our picks:
1. Aurora Sees the Light: After John-John’s nasty accident left him bedridden, a kind nurse named Aurora seemed eager to help him recover. But when Natalie and Carla caught the vengeful vampire trying to off the officer while he was asleep, the two KO’d the pointy-toothed chick with a combo light bulb-through-the-heart/strangulation via balloon string.
2. A Splitting Headache: When a gaggle of freshly bitten zombies set its sights on the UTF officers, the guys fired back. Most notably, John-John, who decided it was better to get things done on his own terms…like, by putting his hand through one flesh-eater’s skull.
3. Kill Her with for Kindness: “Death Valley” saw an uplifting trend in its earlier days: bloodmobiles that assisted an influx of hospital patients. Sadly, bloodthirsty vampires caught on to the trend and decided a plasma hijacking wouldn’t be complete without their own additions to the mix. Nurses just can’t catch a break in this town…
4. Insides on the Outside: For his occasional airheadedness, Billy Pierce is a pretty good shot. Give him a stick, however, and you better duck for cover. When he and partner Stubeck found a zombie rotting in the sun on a sidewalk, Pierce wanted to make sure the thing was dead with a quick poke. The good news? The zombie was no threat. The bad news? Curiosity was punished with an explosion of undead organs.
5. A Little Off the Top: A zombie onslaught caught Carla and John-John off guard while the two made their way around a hardware store. When his back was against the wall, and he was out of bullets, John-John did as most would do: revved up a chainsaw and drove it through an encroaching zombie’s head.
6. The Mole’s Undoing: When Stubeck was sure neither Dashell nor Kirsten was the UTF mole, it seemed like he’d never crack the case behind who’d been feeding vamps insider info. But when the police squad’s camera guy turned out to be the culprit, Stubeck put the sneaky creature in its place with some bullet-to-chin action.
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