Dear People's Choice Awards,
Where is your head, and where is your heart? And where is your ratings guide from earlier this year that noted more people tuned in to the "Jersey Shore" Season 4 premiere than any previous premiere in the history of MTV? Your nominations came, and your nominations went, and the kings and queens of Seaside Heights were left behind on the boardwalk. For shame...people. For shame.
Don't you remember when Deena danced off her "underwears?" How about when Mike tangoed with a cement partition? And how could you possibly forget Snooki's Fiat's meeting with a police car? Rather than acknowledge the guido achievement and credit each with nominations for Favorite TV Celebreality Star, though, you cast a light on a Kardashian and the years-later products of "Sister/Sister." Did the "People" elect to see Gene Simmons eclipse the 79th installment of SamRon? Something smells fishy, and it's not just the lemon-crusted striper someone thoughtlessly left on the counter after the last family dinner.
Is Kathy Griffin funny? Sure. And Giuliana Rancic is as endearing as they come. But if you're telling us Pierre didn't attract enough attention to outdo the pair, then hand us the dunce hat, because we must be the morons in all of this.
May you enjoy your award, future recipient. But remember: It's a far fall from grace. We'll see you in the basement this time next year.
Note: The views expressed in this completely reasonable and warranted open letter are not necessarily those held by MTV or MTV.com. But if they aren't, they probably should be.
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