Watching the first episode of "Chelsea Settles" immediately took me back to a place where I felt so lost and broken. At the time, I was desperately searching for something more to make my life feel complete. I couldn't help but cringe when I heard myself announce my weight to the producer--aside from the obvious health reasons that are closely tied to being morbidly obese, I'm still learning to accept the fact that I let my weight skyrocket to a staggering 324 pounds. It was overwhelming and heartbreaking for me to see the sadness in my eyes.
I'm most proud of myself for making the decision to leave the comfort of my surroundings to conquer (or attempt to conquer) a new city. I never thought I would find the courage within myself to take such a drastic step. I will remember Moving Day for the rest of my life--I woke up feeling anxious, sad and physically sick. Leaving my mom was beyond painful, but knowing that I had her and my entire family in my corner gave me the will and determination to face my fears.
It was interesting to revisit a lot of the old feelings and emotions that I'd housed inside of me for so long, and, after watching this episode, the saying "There is always a better tomorrow" means more to me than ever. To make a change, you have to start with forgiving yourself. We are all human, we all make mistakes and battle insecurities, but tomorrow comes with a clean slate. With the right encouragement, any obstacle can be overcome.
Get ready for a wild ride!
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