5 Things K-Cav Needs From Y'all Before Her First Cha-Cha [Video]

Kristin Cavallari preps her funny bone at Comedy Central's Roast of Charlie Sheen.

After weeks of training and countless grueling practice sessions, Kristin Cavallari will dance in front of millions of people next week with the hope of surviving round 1 of "Dancing With The Stars." But before her first spin-dip high kick, Team Hills' second hope for snagging the Mirror Ball trophy wants to get a few things straight. Listen up and do as you're told.

1. Stop giving her lip quivers, puppy dog eyes or a single more "Aww, are you OK?" in reference to her broken engagement to Jay Cutler. Seriously, just stop. Sympathy is hardly needed by the girl who delights in friends-with-benefits relationships and once referred to Stephanie Pratt as a "f****** piranha."

2. Know that this is the first time she's ever danced. A consummate bruncher and confrontation queen? Sure. Master of the Cecchetti Method? Not so much.

3. Be ready with a stretcher. Although K-Cav says the famous "DWTS" soreness hasn't kicked in yet, with the exception of a Willow Smith-related neck injury incurred last week, she's not ruling it out.

4. Cool it with the hostility toward Chaz Bono. Dude's just trying to have some fun dancing, she says. Neo-conservative social platforming, this ain't.

5. Quit trying to set her up. Dating is the furthest thing from the blonde bombshell's mind, so no, she isn't hooking up with dancing partner Mark Ballas (not yet at least). Hear that, Pia Toscano? Girl is scared of you--no hair pulling necessary.

+ Check out her interview with EOnline below and get a glimpse at her first routine:

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Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images