"Jersey Shore" has reached a new level of shock and awe. Like, prepare yourself for more exposed vagines (the clinical term for koo-kahs in Italy), fun-bags (the totally nonclinical term for hoo-hahs in Seaside Heights) and other naughty bits of debauchery that will absolutely mortify Snooki's boyfriend, Jionni, upon watching Thursday night's new episode. (If he was mad last week because she mentioned licking his butt, then he definitely won't take too well to her upcoming antics.) You might have the same reaction, but chances are you'll just be laughing your ass off.
Usually we save the big "Holy sharts, is this really happening?" moments until the episode airs on MTV, but we here at Remote Control just can't keep this one to ourselves any longer. It's that good.
OK, OK, we're getting there! Sorry, it's just that scenes like these don't come around often, and when they do, we get all hyper and wordy.
What's the difference, you ask, between making out and hooking up? Well, typically, when straight girls make out with each other, it's for an audience of drunk-out-of-their-wits dudes who high-five whenever someone exclaims "That's what she said!"; the main motive is to please and tease them, not the person they're kissing. But when two chicks hook up, there's an attraction that's undeniable to any onlooker, probably because they could care less if said onlooker is paying attention.
Thursday night at 11/10c, Snooks and Deena will ignore plenty of voyeurs as they smooch, nibble, grope, grind and possibly even fondle (the clinical term for "finger-p***ing," which will from now on be referred to by us as "FP-ing," because the term is just plain gross) for hours on end. The passion is palpable, unlike your average sorority girl stunt performed at the university pub. We dare you to try and look away.
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