Well this just sucks.
Apparently, six months can really make a difference in a relationship–even the really perfect-seeming ones. Back in January, rumors surfaced that former “Hills” star Lauren Conrad and her boyfriend Kyle Howard had gotten engaged (the couple denied it), but E! News reported earlier this afternoon that they’re officially O-V-A. What…The…EFF? This totally came out of left field for us, so please excuse the out of character WTFs, ZOMGs and other annoying blogger-associated acronyms and slang and all-CAPS we feel compelled to vom all over the screen right now.
Surriously people, we are totes POed! Lauren and Kyle were together for THREE years and we COMPLETELY thought they were gonna make it down the aisle sometime soonish. And LC would have designed her own dress, which would have been so elegant (and like, the furthest thing from Heidi Montag’s blingy, marshmallowy White Swan wedding get-up) and-and-and we would have posted pix and reported which ex-Hillzies dined on what type of hors douvres and-and-and it would have just been WICKED AWWWWESOME! (Sorry, our inner Bostonian tends to sneak out during emotional times like this.)
The only real details about the breakup that we have so far are that it was mutual and amicable. Great, we’re soooo glad they’re feeling OK with the whole thing…We’ll just be in the office bathroom stall ’til the end of the work day biting our cuticles and cursing ourselves out for getting so personally invested in relationships THAT AREN’T OURS!
Le sigh. THAT’S ENOUGH caps for now. Stay tuned for more details.