True Life Check-Ins: Tamra Started Blogging About Her Condition

Tonight's season premiere of "True Life" explored the stories of three women who were unable to have painless sex with their partners. Tess, Tali and Tamra sought out a variety of different treatments, and they each experienced some sort of breakthrough. We recently had the opportunity to check in with them and find out how they're progressing. Take a look at the follow-up Q&As below:


What have you been up to since filming wrapped?

I'm finishing up my last year at school and thinking about life.

Are you still dating Antonio?

Yes, it's been a little over one year (Nov. 9 was our year anniversary).

How is your sex life?

Better than ever! We're getting more and more comfortable with each other everyday. It's still a struggle every time we have sex because the pain is very real and still very there, but it's manageable. I still get frustrated and the pain can be severe enough that I cry and we have to stop, but we work around it. Antonio has been so understanding and is incredibly supportive.

Are you nervous about the fact that this very intimate story is soon going to be shared with millions of people?

I am EXTREMELY nervous. I don't know what to expect. I'm anticipating the worst so hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised.

What advice do you have for other women experiencing similar issues?

Don't be afraid to speak up and get help. You really aren't the only one. Vaginismus is real and very damaging mentally, physically and emotionally--you don't want to deal with that your whole life. Communicate openly with your partner as well so they can understand and help you through it. If you're not in a healthy relationship, then get out of it because with this kind of issue you need all the support and understanding you can get. Don't be ashamed and don't be afraid. It will get better. If I can get over it, then anyone can.


What are you up to now?

I have been super busy working on fundraising and awareness projects for chronic pelvic pain conditions. I also recently started a new job and have an opportunity to help a lot of people who struggle with the stress from painful sex and other pelvic problems.

Are you still experiencing any vaginal pain?

It comes and goes as it pleases. Compared to what it used to be, there's been an 80 percent improvement. I am able to manage a flare-up much better now than I did before and sex is no longer a dreaded ordeal, which is great.

Are you seeing anyone? If so, how’s that going?

I am not seeing anyone.

Are you nervous about sharing your intimate story with millions of people?

Yes and no. I shared my story so that many other women and men could see that they're not alone. If my story helps 1,000 people get the help they need to have a more normal, less painful sex life, I'd be happy. But on the other hand, it is a bit unnerving to know that my family and friends will be watching some very, very personal moments and in-depth treatments. It's not everyday your family gets to see what internal physical therapy is all about.

What advice would you give to women who were experiencing similar issues?

Don't ever give up hope and try to stay positive no matter how hard it gets. There are so many different treatments available you just have to find the ones that work best for you -- medical providers are willing to listen! Ask as many questions as you need to better understand the situation and remember that painful sex is not normal no matter how many times you've been told that it is.


What are you up to now?

I was working for Environment America in Colorado, but had to quit in September and come home. My pain was the worst it has ever been and I wasn't able to complete simple tasks. Since then, I've been putting my health first and going to physical therapy twice a week and getting injections once a week. I have a pelvic floor surgery coming up in April that will hopefully be my last procedure for a long time. I am also making a career change and preparing to apply to physical therapy programs in the fall so I can use my experience to help others in similar situations.

Are you still experiencing a lot of vaginal pain?

I was in the worst pain of my life in September, but am finally feeling relief. Injections are helping significantly. Most of my pain is from sitting, but I see slow improvements every week. There are setbacks, but I believe that I am finally on the mend.

Are you seeing anyone? If, so how's that going?

I am single and attempting to date. It is very rocky, but I hope to find someone eventually. It's difficult walking into injections every week and seeing couples holding each others' hands for support. I want someone to accept me completely.

Are you nervous about sharing your intimate story with millions of people?

I am extremely nervous about how people will receive my story. I am a fairly private person and this story is a deeply personal one, but it is a relief to finally share it. For a long time I wasn't able to share with anyone and felt lost. I want other women out there to know they are not alone and that it is okay to talk about the pain they are experiencing.

What advice would you give to women who are experiencing similar issues?

Seek proper medical treatment and be careful about who you see. A good first step is to talk to your gynecologist, who can then refer you to a specialist. There is treatment available for you. I would also take advantage of a great online community and support group. You can visit my blog at and email me with any questions you might have.

+ For more information check out the following resources:

1. There is a hotline people can call and vent anonymously.

2. IC is a condition that isn't addressed in the show, but Tali suffers from it.

3. The National Vulvodynia Association is a very large, active organization with great resources.

4. This is where Tess got her kit.

5. "Heal Pelvic Pain" by Amy Stein. She's a physical therapist that pioneered pelvic floor physical therapy, and she has a studio in NYC called Beyond Basics Physical Therapy.

6. Kima Physical Therapy in NYC also specializes in pelvic floor therapy, similar to what Tali had.