Our mind might be getting the best of us, but we imagine that when it's time for the Princess of Poughkeepsie to celebrate her birthday (which, if you didn't know, is Nov. 23), Her Majesty will walk out of her pickle palace, demurely wave to the crowds of marching soldiers (and shirtless sun worshipers), then glide to the floor for her ceremonial first dance--a fist-pump with her BFF, JWOWW.
OK, maybe a co-worker slipped us some acid, but we've seen the "Jersey Shore" girl party, so at the very least we can count on there being some serious pandemonium surrounding Snooki's bash. Sadly, we're not invited to her condom gala on Saturday...at least not yet (wink!), but we still came up with five gifts to send priority mail.
Check 'em out:
Since Seaside, Snooki's replaced her drugstore hair clip repertoire with a much wider range of accessories and styles, but as far as we know, she's only got one royal crown (see her Halloween pic, on the right). Cute, right? Time to get a collection started!
Arguably one of the "Jersey Shore" star's major food groups, the slimy green vegetable also makes a great stress reliever! Standing at over 4 inches long (hey, it's no Vinny, but it'll do), this one's made of all foam.
For someone who's barely pushing 5 feet, there's a fine line between what qualifies as a dress and a top, and luckily for Snooks, no one's questioning her. Pants are so overrated! Wethinks she'll be quite happy with this colorful assortment of Ed Hardy tops (paired with zillion-inch heels, of course!).
Last season, Snooki fell in love with a pair of Swarovski-encrusted sunnies that left her speechless (and in many instances, partially blind). She needs something new to block out the UV rays, and with these money shades she'll be able to keep empty-handed gorillas at bay.
Whether given to you by a childhood bestie or current beau, nothing cements a relationship like a set of split heart pendants. One for her, one for Jionni. (She can take all the credit for the idea when he delivers the thank-you smooch.)
Photo: Ian Gavan/Getty Images