Sure, getting tricked into parenthood can be kind of a downer. So while Spencer tries to wrap his head around a (potential) Pratt pregnancy, we thought we'd get him on board by showing him the true value of family. Time to break out the Hills onesies! Here's how to turn the future Speidi spawn into a bona fide marketing bonanza -- in three easy steps!
Step 1. The endorsements begin at conception.
Don't make the mistake of waiting til D-Day (Delivery Day) to cash in. There's plenty of money to be made prior to Spencer Jr.'s birth. Get your Twitter fam on board by letting them pick the name (note: it can't be worse than "Bronx Mowgli Wentz"), then announce Heidi's latest clothing venture -- a maternity line that specializes in sexy going-out attire! (Suggested label name: "Party Til You Pop".)
Step 2. Share the miracle of life!
Selling your baby pix to the highest tabloid bidder? That's child's play. If you want a real challenge, try making bank on the birth itself. Use your reality connections to get the special day sponsored (try companies like Gerber, Pampers and Baby Gap), then offer to show the entire delivery on livestream. Congratulations! It's a ... fortune!
Step 3. Can you say "Merchandise?"
Sure, your little one's adorable ... for now. But he/she won't stay young forever! Which is why you've gotta strike while the baby iron's hot. Now's the time to release Heidi's Postpartum Workout video, your family-friendly rap album (Baby In The Hizzouse!) and those Speidi-themed children's books (our money's on The Pratt In The Hat).
+ Got any more ideas on how to leverage Speidi's lovechild? Hit us up with your comments, concerns and complaints below!