On the premiere of Gone Too Far, you met Amy, a heroin addict struggling to get clean with the help of DJ AM. Many of you wrote inspiring comments on the blog supporting Amy's continuing fight, and we wanted to make sure she had access to all your messages from her sober living home in California. Yesterday, we called Amy to relay your thoughts and prayers, plus ask her some more questions about where she's at now with her recovery. Below, check out what Amy had to say about treatment, DJ AM and how her life has changed since filming...
On what it was like walking into treatment: I felt a little bit of everything -- nauseous, overwhelmed ... I was in California, away from my family, away from the only thing I knew, which was my addiction. And then having the camera there while I was in detox was really hard. I wanted to leave at times, but I usually take the easy way out, and leaving would have been doing that.
On where she's at now: I have 78 [as of today, 79] days clean and am living in a sober community in California. I also just got a job running a transitional house for recovering addicts. I start that next week, so I plan on staying out here for a while.
Overall, I have good days and I have bad days. But to tell you the truth, I've actually been having more good days than bad recently. I'm just trying to keep focused on what's at hand. I can't get sidetracked and think, 'Oh, I'm homesick. I want to go home.' And I'm trying to get rid of that old stuff, the negative stuff. There's nothing good in Philadelphia for me, and there's so many good things here. I've made so many friends. To tell you the truth, there are people out here that I've only known for weeks that I consider more of a friend than others who I've known for 10 years. I couldn't ask for a better support group ... my friends, the counselors here, even the show producers. I know that I can call them whenever and they'll be there for me. They're not just saying it. My old friends said I could call them, but they'd never answer the phone. These people will.
I also talk to my mom and sister daily, sometimes two or three times a day. I talk to my brother about once a week, as well as my nephew. My family is actually thinking of moving out here. They hope I stay out here because they want to be in California.
I don't talk to any of my old friends in Philadelphia. Not one of them.
On what she needs to do in order to stay clean: I can't be isolated. That's always been my main problem, and it still is. I need to surround myself with good people. I also need to keep busy, and the new job will really help with that.
On how it felt to watch her story unfold on Gone Too Far: I was afraid to watch my episode. They got so much on camera, and I didn't know what they were going to use and how they were going to put it together. I'm just happy they focused more on afterward and not as much on the using part. That meant a lot to me because just seeing it on camera was embarrassing, and hearing my brother and my sister and my mom was hard. I cried, but I honestly thought it would be worse.
It was pretty interesting [to watch the show] because when I was in my addiction, I heard what everyone was saying but I wasn't able to take it all in. I could've cared less what people thought of me. It was really powerful to watch with sober eyes. I'm kind of glad I got it all on film because now I have that reminder if I ever ... I always have that to go back to if I ever have a weak moment.
On DJ AM's incredible effect on her life: He never passed judgment because he had been through the same thing. Without him, I wouldn't have been able to afford treatment. He helped get my teeth fixed, and they were a big issue for me [in relapsing]. He helped me through every issue I brought up to him. He understood me. We talked about a lot of personal stuff and bonded quickly ... and I usually don't with people I meet. He saw something in me that I couldn't even see in myself, and here I am now. I don't know why to this day that I was chosen to get help from him, but I'm not gonna question it. I'm here for a reason. Without Adam, I wouldn't be here today.
On the support she's received from viewers since the show aired: My mom and sister have called me to read the comments written on the blog. I don't even know what to say. I always knew there were a lot of people out there with similar stories, but I was thinking only about myself at the time. I was so scared about what people would say [after seeing the show], but I realized if this affected one person it would be worthwhile. I really hope that one person learns from my mistakes and my story, and they won't have to go through what I did.