I find myself pressed for words, for once, on the MTV show blog that I run and contribute to on a daily basis. Remote Control rarely puts forth a serious tone -- it's mainly our aim to provide lighthearted commentary on cat-fights, love triangles or some other bit of silliness taking place on entertaining shows like The Hills and Real World. But now I'm faced with writing about DJ AM's Gone Too Far, a piece of programming that's extremely important for mass viewing and education, plus also very personal to me.
I never knew or even met DJ AM -- he died a few days before our interview about the show was scheduled to happen -- but I am all too familiar with his struggle to get and stay sober. You know me as Control Freak on the blog, but my real name is Lisa, and I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.
My fight to stop drinking and using was long, hard and incredibly painful, both physically and mentally. The kind of heartache I caused myself, friends and family is not quantifiable. I now have years of sobriety under my belt but am completely aware that the slightest bit of slacking off on my part can lead to dire consequences. I also know full well how strong and brave the people featured in Gone Too Far will need to be in order to begin and maintain their battle against substance abuse.
When you watch the show tonight, and for the next eight weeks, please understand that although many alcoholics and drug addicts are able to get and remain sober for long periods of time, the threat of relapse -- sometimes followed by tragedy -- is very real. However, that doesn't mean the extraordinary effort it takes to get clean and sober is not worth every second. If you can beat this disease for any period of time, you are a true fighter, and in my humble assessment, also a hero.
Rest in peace, DJ AM.