Blame Canada! How DJ Pat Came, Saw And Conquered Cancun

This one goes out to that S.O.B. Pat

Who hereafter serves as living proof that

Tall, dullish dudes sometimes DO get the girl!

All they need's a turntable - and a show called Real World.

It all started with Jas (who was kind of aggressive),

But then Pat blew her off -- b-tch was crazy possessive!

'Sides, he'd set his sights higher: the epitome of tail

The chick with the boyfriend, the RW holy grail!

But Jonna wouldn't go down easy -- or so Patrick thought.

She was too smart, too discriminating. And much, much too hot.

So Pat hatched a plan -- he'd become Jonna's "good friend!"

And THAT, as we know, was the beginning of the end.

Overwhelmed by the booze, boys and hot Mexican sun

Jonna thought: 'Long-distance boyfriends? Not so much fun!'

So she told Whatshisface it was over, 'I've moved on,' she said

Then she grabbed Pat and Ayiiia and hopped into bed.

But after the threesome, it was different somehow

Derek laughed, Ayiiia cried, Jonna furrowed her brow

Had she made a mistake? It was too late to say

For Pat was already back in Toronto, eh

And that's where you'll find him, he's there to this day

Bragging 'bout how he's Canada's No. 1 DJ

And how, this one time, in Cancun, he hooked up with some girl

Then stopped taking her calls. Hey, it's called the real world.