This one goes out to that S.O.B. Pat
Who hereafter serves as living proof that
Tall, dullish dudes sometimes DO get the girl!
All they need's a turntable - and a show called Real World.
It all started with Jas (who was kind of aggressive),
But then Pat blew her off -- b-tch was crazy possessive!
'Sides, he'd set his sights higher: the epitome of tail
The chick with the boyfriend, the RW holy grail!
But Jonna wouldn't go down easy -- or so Patrick thought.
She was too smart, too discriminating. And much, much too hot.
So Pat hatched a plan -- he'd become Jonna's "good friend!"
And THAT, as we know, was the beginning of the end.
Overwhelmed by the booze, boys and hot Mexican sun
Jonna thought: 'Long-distance boyfriends? Not so much fun!'
So she told Whatshisface it was over, 'I've moved on,' she said
Then she grabbed Pat and Ayiiia and hopped into bed.
But after the threesome, it was different somehow
Derek laughed, Ayiiia cried, Jonna furrowed her brow
Had she made a mistake? It was too late to say
For Pat was already back in Toronto, eh
And that's where you'll find him, he's there to this day
Bragging 'bout how he's Canada's No. 1 DJ
And how, this one time, in Cancun, he hooked up with some girl
Then stopped taking her calls. Hey, it's called the real world.