Believe it or not, Sarah (a.k.a. CollegeHumor's best/worst/only female staffer) already HAS a man. And Ricky, Sam and Jake all have preexisting girlfriends. But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of single/desperate types runnin' around CH headquarters. Below, a rundown of the show's most eligible bachelors. (Hey, so what if it's not by choice?)
Eligible Bachelor: Dan
Interests: Dancing to Ludacris' "Fantasy"; making hot coeds disappear
Best line: "Well, there's Kevin, Nick, Joe, and an occasional appearance by the ever adorable Franklin, a.k.a, the Bonus Jonas."
Fun Fact: "When it comes to Dan in bed, watch out ladies! He flails his arms when he has night terrors."
Eligible Bachelor: Jeff
Interests: Video games; Saved by the Bell's Lark Voorkies
Best line: "Can you imagine what her hot family is going through?"
Fun Fact: "Jeff Rubin is really good at mountain climbing, guitar solos, and lying."
Eligible Bachelor: Patrick
Interests: Dead end jobs; wrestling
Best line: "I saw my future children in her eyes ... one of them was deformed."
Fun Fact: "Patrick once saved a hundred hostages from biological terrorists on Alcatraz. Wait, that was Nicholas Cage in The Rock. Patrick's the one who got scared and vomited while watching that movie."
Eligible Bachelor: Streeter
Interests: Playing Face Twister; impersonating Michael Phelps
Best line: "He sounds ethnic and he's pissed."
Fun Fact: Streeter claims he can tell a girl's bra size just by staring awkwardly at her breasts for a few moments. Sweet!