Hey Ladies! Who Wants To Date A College Humor Hottie??

Believe it or not, Sarah (a.k.a. CollegeHumor's best/worst/only female staffer) already HAS a man. And Ricky, Sam and Jake all have preexisting girlfriends. But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of single/desperate types runnin' around CH headquarters. Below, a rundown of the show's most eligible bachelors. (Hey, so what if it's not by choice?)

Eligible Bachelor: Dan

Interests: Dancing to Ludacris' "Fantasy"; making hot coeds disappear

Best line: "Well, there's Kevin, Nick, Joe, and an occasional appearance by the ever adorable Franklin, a.k.a, the Bonus Jonas."

Fun Fact: "When it comes to Dan in bed, watch out ladies! He flails his arms when he has night terrors."

Eligible Bachelor: Jeff

Interests: Video games; Saved by the Bell's Lark Voorkies

Best line: "Can you imagine what her hot family is going through?"

Fun Fact: "Jeff Rubin is really good at mountain climbing, guitar solos, and lying."

Eligible Bachelor: Patrick

Interests: Dead end jobs; wrestling

Best line: "I saw my future children in her eyes ... one of them was deformed."

Fun Fact: "Patrick once saved a hundred hostages from biological terrorists on Alcatraz. Wait, that was Nicholas Cage in The Rock. Patrick's the one who got scared and vomited while watching that movie."

Eligible Bachelor: Streeter

Interests: Playing Face Twister; impersonating Michael Phelps

Best line: "He sounds ethnic and he's pissed."

Fun Fact: Streeter claims he can tell a girl's bra size just by staring awkwardly at her breasts for a few moments. Sweet!