Let's face it: the question isn't "Why didn't Femi win?" so much as "How in the hell did he make it this long?" From the moment he started in with the animal chants, we all knew Femi wasn't what one would call "Bromance" material. And looking back, there were definitely a few more instances that sealed his fate.
A quick review of where poor, misguided Femi went wrong:
1. He was not nearly complimentary enough of Brody Jenner's mom, Linda. (Trust us, it matters.)
2. He continued to insist that he's a "Fashion King," while providing no concrete evidence to support this theory.
3. He did NOT take the poor, disabled girl to her senior prom, unlike some OTHER Bromance finalists we can think of ...
4. He ditched Brody twice in less than 24 hours in order to make out with his fidelity-challenged ex.
5. He then accused Luke of being a bad host (Pot? Meet Kettle...) for not getting into a bar brawl defending Brody's honor.
And while Femi annoyed us by carrying out the animal metaphors until the bitter end ("Roar! I'm a Lion!"), we gotta give him props for staying the course. As he said himself:
"I have no regrets -- I was myself from day one. I'm myself now -- whatever day it is."
For the record, Femi, it's Monday. But more importantly, it's the day Everyone You've Ever Met saw you get dumped in a parking garage. On TV. While dressed up in Kevin Bacon's ugly 80's Footloose prom tux. Tough break, bro.