VIDEO: Bizarre Moments/Fashions/Facial Tics From MTV's Monday Night Lineup

Mondays in Detoxopia are jam-packed with MTV-viewing goodness, not only because I get my weekly insulin treatment in the form of Olivia Palermo, but it also means fun fashion tips! (Sometimes you need to wear something else besides a tee shirt.) Lucky for me, I got a little help from Brody Jenner and Malan Breton from Seasons 2 and 3 of Project Runway on how to wear my new, stylish JENNER JEANS!

Actually, not lucky at all. The whole thing turned out to be a horribly evil prank executed by the unlikely alliance of Brody and Malan! But I guess it was all in good fun. Malan and I ended up chatting about the hideous Jenner jeans and our mutual fascination with Giant Suri Cruise. He was also nice enough to share his deliciously evil laugh with us! Yay, Malan! (Keep your eyes peeled for new Malan goodies in NYC's upcoming Fashion Week, friends!)

Still, it was a day of broken hearts at Detox -- not only was I rejected by Vanessa Simmons during a grueling speed-dating session, but things were also sour in The City. The sub-plot of two barely-known characters caught on fire when there was explosive drama between the couple! And we've secured the raw audio from the tapes...

Tomorrow be sure to check back in when our awesome guest, art-rockin Ponytail, helps us discuss an especially scandalous Double Shot at Love. As my girl Olivia would coo, "Toodles!"

P.S. This is the last time I'll be naked on MTV Detox for awhile. PROMISE.