Speidi-Inspired Wedding Guide: How To Score The Elopement Of Your Dreams!

Attention, guys! Ever wondered how to get the girl of your dreams to say "I do" without breaking the bank -- or boring you to death with over-the-top wedding deets? If so, read on and find our Speidi-inspired Guide To Pulling Off The Perfect Elopement.

Step 1: Take her somewhere really pretty. Fact: Women are easy. All we need are a pretty view, a coupla candles and some semi-sincere compliments from yours truly. Butter us up by ogling us in our barely-there swimsuit, then move in for the kill by staring deep into our eyes and telling us how our plans for a really elaborate wedding nearly ruined our entire relationship.

Step 2: Booze can't hurt. Okay, sure, if we love you and we're already engaged there's already a pretty good chance we're gonna say "yes" when you suggest getting hitched. But hey, why chance it? Instead, bolster your odds by ordering some top-shelf tequila! Sure, it's the exact same liquor that got us (temporarily) fired from our job but hey, what do we have to lose this time?

Step 3: Move quickly! Did you re-pop the question and get a (somewhat slurry) "Yes" in response? Then get on with it, man! Otherwise, we'll start thinking about a zillion and one things we want to do first (like invite our disapproving parents and buy some sort of pricey ring!) and it'll ruin the whole spontaneity vibe.

+ Think we missed anything? Let us know if we left out any tips (such as "Step 4: Screen phone calls from any/all relatives back home -- they're bound to think that drugs were involved).