Although Brody Jenner’s new show, Bromance, is still a long way away, we figured it’s never too early to brush up on our brocab and man-ners. Thankfully, we’ve got just the thing: Brocabulary: The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk by Daniel Maurer. We’ll be giving you a mini lesson on “bromenclature” each week — until Brody’s televised search for a new “palcoholic” kicks off.
Like Fonzworth Bentley before us, we take our diction extremely seriously. So we’ve decided to step up our vernacular with these utilitarian guy phrases. Below, five more alcohol-related words you need to know.
gutterly wasted - Passed out in the gutter. "Man, did you guys see Chris last night? He was so gutterly wasted he started going around introducing himself as Abraham Drinkin'."
pourizontal - Poised so that someone can pour beer in your mouth from above. "Dude, keg stands are so lame. Now go grab a Heineken -- it's time for another round of pourizontals."
prebauchery - The party before the party. "Yeah, Joe says the party starts at 10 so I figured we'd all get there at, like, 4 to start the prebauchery."
slurchase - A purchase made while you're drunkenly slurring your words. "Which one of you idiots signed me up for a 50-year subscription to <em>Playboy</em> magazine? Oh, wait, that's my signature at the bottom. Dammit, you guys, I thought you weren't going to let me make any more late-night slurchaes on my Amex!"
spinoculated - Inoculated to the point where stuff starts spinning. "I'm pretty sure those chicks were hot, but then again, I was pretty spinoculated last night. Was one of them tall?"
+ Not exactly Guysaac Newton when it comes to brocab? Catch up on our past lessons now!