How Ev Beat The Boys At Their Own Game...And Lived To Tell About It

Sure, Kenny, Johnny and Derek won $75K each, but we all know the REAL story is that visor-wearing vixen who came out of nowhere to take Paula's spot on the winning boat -- and row her way to victory. So how'd Ev go from challenge misfit to Island royalty? We're not sure, but we're thinking it involves some powerful combination of luck, determination and the fact that she's just much, much better than everyone else at, well, just about everything. Anywho, here's the 30-second recap of Evelyn's amahzing journey to the top.

First, Ev quickly established herself as The Opposition, joined up with a ragtag team of Island outcasts (i.e. KellyAnne and Cohutta) and told Johnny Bananas and the rest of the Island mafia what they could do with their Alliance. (Totes understandable, given that she and Johnny had a sort of an Ike and Tina Turner thing happening, minus all the love/sex/physical abuse/singing stuff). But after it dawned on Ev that the Alliance weren't about to let her enter any of the faceoffs, she went into full-out compaign mode, trying to rally up enough support to challenge Kennanany's majority vote.

Fortunately for Ev, the Alliance got greedy and agreed to let her go into a faceoff -- against two strong men -- in the hopes of sending her home for good. Instead, Evelyn came out on top (was there really any doubt??) and won the right to take a key from any current keyholder. And, despite Kenny and Johnny's attempts to get back in her good graces, Ev stuck to her guns and took the opportunity to stick it to her old nemesis, JB.

And you guys pretty much know how it went from there. Johnny went into the next faceoff, took back his key from Evelyn, and seemed to be about to sail off to victory (with Derek, Kenny and Paula) when suddenly, T.J. dropped a MAJOR bomb by telling everyone that the four keyless castaways -- Johanna, Dan, Ev and KellyAnne -- would all be competing in the final faceoff.

Natch, Ev won again, but this time, she put her anger aside and sold her soul to the devil (or so to speak), agreeing to team up with her sworn nemesis and his band of brothers in the hopes of paddling her way to surefire victory. And so she said buh-bye to Dunbar, put her trust in Kenny's hands (not the easiest thing to do, mind you) and her gamble paid the tune of $75K. (Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!)

Sure, there were casualties in the process (KellyAnne kinda got screwed, Paula lost her share of the cash money and Kenny and Johnny didn't learn a valuable lesson about saying "please" and "thank you") but to be honest, we don't really care. Because in the end, the Alliance kept their promise to Ev (proving they weren't completely awful after all) the underdog came out on top and, for one shining moment, all was right with the world.

Congratulations, Ev. Thanks for making us believe again.