Although Brody Jenner’s new show, Bromance, is still a long way away, we figured it’s never too early to brush up on our brocab and man-ners. Thankfully, we’ve got just the thing: Brocabulary: The New Man-I-Festo of Dude Talk by Daniel Maurer. We’ll be giving you a mini lesson on “bromenclature” each week — until Brody’s televised search for a new “palcoholic” kicks off.
Like Fonzworth Bentley before us, we take our diction extremely seriously. So we’ve decided to step up our vernacular with these utiliterian guy phrases. Below, five more words you need to know:
cerebro - The bro who does the thinking for you. You're R2-D-Dude and he's C-3P-Bro. "If it weren't for my cerebro, I totally would have blown it with that hot med studentt. Instead, I took her home and made her call me McDreamy."
hommitment - A commitment you made with a ho that prevents you from hanging out with your bros: "Sorry man, I can't make it to Chugly's tonight, I've got a hommitment. She wants me to go to the hospital to bond with my newborn son. Lame, I know..."
alcofall - A common type of bingeury that occurs due to excessive alcohol (also known as a "beer spill.") "Did you hear about Jay? Apparently, dude took a major alcofall after last night's power hour and ended up in the E.R."
barticipate - To participate in something that happens in a bar, or in going to a bar. "We're headed to Babes on Board for a boobs cruise. Barticipation is mandatory."
break fluid - Water, when consumed in order to take a break from drinking or to put the brakes on a drunken mistake. "Good thing I got some break fluid in me or I would've made a move on Bill's fiancee."
+ Not exactly Guysaac Newton when it comes to brocab? Catch up on our past lessons now!