Exposed! My Dirty Little Hills Secrets

As Show Girl demonstrated so eloquently last week, we bloggers here at Remote Control have recently been bitten by the truth bug. Not only are we finding it near impossible to fake enthusiasm over 90210's Peach Pit renovations, but I can barely contain all the T.M.I. pent up inside me. Example: When I was 12, I swiped Troy Weston's school picture from his backpack and hid it in my Trapper Keeper until the end of junior high, when I finally burned the evidence out of lingering paranoia that Troy's mom would find out, and because, well, I liked to set things on fire back then. See what I mean?

Anyways, let me say this about The Hills, and don't interrupt me till I finish: I agree with Show Girl's loud-and-proud assessment of Justin Bobby's now undeniable hotness, something I was loathe to admit before. It seemed like the cool thing to do at the time was to make fun of his helmet hair and riding gloves. Sorry, JB, I take it all back. Now, brace yourself for something bigger...

I've also always found Spencer Pratt to be super attractive, even during the beard and mustache phase. Am I really the only one who sees it? Sometimes I get lost in them ocean-blue eyes, especially when he's calling Heidi "my dear" and/or wearing a suit jacket.

And yes, I do sometimes wonder if Lauren Conrad and I would've been besties if Lisa Love had called to offer me Whitney Port's original job at Teen Vogue. Could I have convinced LC to go to Paris? And, ya know, maybe I wouldn't mind being invited to one of Brent Bolthouse's flashy Hollywood parties once in a blue moon. Heidi could put me on the guest list? And, oh God, here it comes... I've considered getting hair extensions. I've been carrying a magazine cutout of Audrina (circa Season 3) in my wallet for the day I get up the guts and march over to the salon. BTW: If Audrina invited me to a weird show, I'd totally bob my head. I'd also co-sign her BS relationship with JB every time he failed to text her back... "Maybe his phone died?" OK, just one more: I kind of have this girl crush on Team Brunette co-captain,  Chiara. She seems so even-keeled, like she could fix me a sundae while helping me with my taxes. Don't tell: She's on the show again Monday!

Blurting out the truth sure can be cathartic! Believe it or not, there's so much I didn't say. Check back next week, when more will be revealed... like how I plan to become Holly Montag's new roomie.