Once upon a time, in a place far, far away, the citizens of Reality TV Land gathered together to discuss a matter of some importance. There were, they decided, certain annoyingly ubiquitous words and phrases whose time had passed. It was best, they decided, for these words to be systematically retired from the English language. And so, they thought and they thought until finally, after some hair-pulling, a bit of childish name-calling and much debate, a comprehensive list (of “Overwhelmingly Overused Reality Phrases”) was compiled. The following words, they declared, were never again to be seen, heard, spoken or repeated ad nauseum. Here are their findings:
1) BROMANCE (Alt: BRO-MANCE)
Biggest Offender: Anyone and everyone who has ever described the on-again, off-again relationship between Brody Jenner and his sometimes man-partner, Spencer Pratt. (Note: this may or may not include us).
Use In A Sentence: “Is the bromance really over for Spencer and Brody?”
Why We’re Over It: This non-real word should never have broken into the mainstream to begin with. “Bromance,” along with similarly irritating faux-words “frenemy” and “thinspirational,” should be summarily forgotten, to be referred to only as a cautionary tale or in such sentences as “Hey, remember when people used to say ’Bro-mance?’ How lame was that?!”
Acceptable Alternatives: Platonic friendship, same-sex companions, men who occasionally hang out together
Biggest Overuser: Christian Siriano, the winner of last season’s Project Runway (Runner up: Tyra Banks, host of America’s Next Top Model)
Used In A Sentence: “Don’t you think my heinous, ostrich-feathered Prada skirt looks totally fierce?”
Why We’re Over It: Despite what Christian may want you to believe, not everything is, in fact, “fierce.” And it is, in fact, the misapplication of the word that irritates us more than the overusage itself. Um, since when did “fierce” officially become synonymous with “Things That Remind You Of Liberace?” (Answer: Never). Please keep this in mind the next time you’re attempting to accurately describe anything of the gratuitously glittered/shiny/unwearable variety.
Acceptable Alternatives: Fashionably ambiguous, flamboyant, brazen
More (thankfully!) retired words, after the jump.
Biggest Overuser: The marketing team behind Gossip Girl (who plastered the four-letter acronym as part of their controversial “Sexy-Pics Of Almost-Underage People” campaign).
Used In A Sentence: “Did you hear that Serena and Dan are TOTALLY dating in real life?? OMFG, right?? Like, seriously! WFT?”
Why We’re Over It: This rather unfortunate colloquialism (once intended to denote extreme feelings of shock or surprise) has come a long way since its sort-of losery Internet 1.0 origins. Now pseudo-socially acceptable, OMFG has quickly become overexposed to the point of cliché and runs the risk of becoming devoid of any/all meaning. Excessive overusage of said acronym has been known to cause eye-rolling and occasional muffled laughter, except when used appropriately (i.e. dripping with sarcasm).
Acceptable Alternatives: Wow!, Intriguing!, Honest to blog! (Kidding!)
Biggest Overuser: Every single cast member of Grey’s Anatomy. Seriously.
Used In A Sentence: “Seriously? You weren’t going to tell me that your ex was back in town? Seriously??”
Why We’re Over It: First and foremost, the word now stands as a constant and unwelcome reminder of Meredith Grey, the single most unlikable tv protagonist in Fake Hospital Show history. Morevoer, due to overexposure, “Seriously” now has extremely diminished shock/comedic value (See: “OMFG,” above) and now serves as an entirely inappropriate place-holder.
Acceptable Alternatives: Oh?, Really?, You don’t say?
5) HOT TRANNY MESS
Biggest Offender: Everyone who’s every judged or critiqued a fashion or modeling competition.
Used In A Sentence: “Amy Winehouse really is talented. Too bad she’s also a hot tranny mess.”
Why We’re Over It: What the hell IS a hot tranny mess? Can anybody actually put it into words? Sure, everyone (including your parents!) knows the 60’s-slang expression “hot mess.” But whose decision was it to throw transsexuals into the mix? And, more importantly, how is it possible that so many people out there are suddenly being exposed as androgynous and unkempt?
Acceptable Alternatives: Inappropriately dressed, haggard, bedraggled
**Any annoying words we missed? Sound off right here to vent your (totally understandable) frustrations over combined celebrity names, Paris Hilton’s “That’s hot!” and Racheael Ray’s unforgivable trademark, “Mmmm, delish!”