How to Cure Your Real World Rash

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My eyes are bleeding. I've seen too much. It may be contagious.

Between the co-ed naked jamboree in the jacuzzi, Greg's overexposed genitalia during his drunken heart-to-heart with Will, and Brianna's sorry excuse for hot pants, tonight's Real World sent a scabies virus across the airwaves.

Recommended treatment:

Purel two-three times an hour

Clean teeth often, check brush for chicken grease and foot fungus

Shower with scalding hot water, and without friends

Think happy thoughts. For instance, fairies and angels wearing many layers of clothing

Try not to scratch the itch -- this shiz spreads fast

Induce vomit if nausea does not subside by next week's episode