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8 Reasons James Bond Will Never Be As Good A Spy As Secret Squirrel

Secret Squirrel is a better secret agent than James Bond, and that's a fact.

James Bond is the world's most iconic spy, but is he the world's best spy? Of course not! How do you know? Well, he tells everyone exactly who he is (Bond, James Bond), what he drinks (martini, shaken, not stirred), what he's up to, who he's dating – pretty much everything a spy is not supposed to say. The man is just a walking blown cover.

But what about Secret Squirrel? He's another espionage icon, much less reckless with his identity, who gives Bond a run for his money. Secret Squirrel was a product of the legendary cartoon company Hanna-Barbera, who gave us "The Flintstones," "The Jetsons," "Scooby-Doo," "Josie And The Pussycats," and pretty much every awesome cartoon ever. Not only is Secret Squirrel a great spy, it's also a great cartoon. So great that the original '60s short was rebooted in 1993 to appear between episodes of Cartoon Network's "2 Stupid Dogs."

Secret Squirrel has what it takes – what Bond doesn't have – to be a world-class secret agent. Here are eight things Secret Squirrel does better than Bond ever could:

  1. Secret Squirrel has a flying car.
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    James Bond's cars, while flashy and expensive, are entirely terrestrial.

  2. Secret Squirrel's flying car folds into a suitcase.
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    James Bond probably has, like, a thousand parking tickets.

  3. Secret Squirrel's spy style is functional.
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    James Bond is well dressed, but his trench coat does not have a rocket in it.

  4. Secret Squirrel is brave in the face of danger.
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    James Bond is too, but not "smile while being shot at" brave.

  5. Secret Squirrel is all about simple solutions.
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    Every time James Bond escapes he has to use some elaborate, Rube Goldberg method.

  6. Secret Squirrel can not be surprised.
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    James Bond is surprised about 18 times every movie.

  7. Secret Squirrel has Morocco Mole, the coolest of subterranean mammal sidekicks.
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    James Bond is totally alone.

  8. Secret Squirrel can easily assume any identity.
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    James Bond is only Bond, James Bond. Just ask him. He'll tell you. Which is not a good thing for a spy to do.

Sorry, Bond.

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