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'The Vampire Diaries': Oh No, Is Steroline In Trouble Already?

'Everything is coming up Salvatore.'

"The Vampire Diaries" just lovvvves to tug at our heartstrings forward and then smack us as soon we get close to something, no?

Stefan (Paul Wesley) and Caroline (Candice King) have, like, JUST become the real-deal, and now there may be a huge giant speed bump -- or even road block -- that got dropped right in their pathway to blisstown.

Because it turns out everything's not as it seemed with his former flame-fling, and all that resolve he had about being ready to move past a lost love might start crumbling, whether he likes it or not.

Here's a recap of this week's new episode, which aired Thursday (Nov. 5).

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Bonnie and Enzo?!?

The three year flash-ahead of this week showed Bonnie Bennett (Kat Graham) tearfully woe-ing about a mistake which cost her someone important to her, but before we jump to the obvious conclusion -- that she's talking about Jeremy Gilbert -- we find out that she and Enzo (Michael Malarkey) are a thing now ... er, later. Whhaaaaaat.

Mission: Destroy Julian

Damon (Ian Somerhalder) has turned over a new leaf, supposedly, to "do right by Elena" without having to hover over her body, but that does not entail giving us his favorite past-time of going on road trips with his little brother Stefan to do the thing.

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This time, they've joined up with Stef's long lost love-slash-heretic Valerie (Elizabeth Blackmore), with Caroline's full-on peppy blessing BTW, on a mission to lay flame to the already-dead body of the notorious Julian a.k.a. "The Devil" who meant so much to Lily (Annie Wersching) -- and to figure out why exactly she was such a heart-breaker back in the day.

Oscar the Grouch

Turns out, the Phoenix Stone is a storage device for old vampire souls, and when Bonnie witchily resurrected the chummy chap, it wasn't his soul that awakened his body. It was someone else altogether -- which explains all his ragey behavior of late. The guy used to be so much fun, pity.

A scuffle with Enzo over the Phoenix Stone -- Now Oscar wants it back, so he can ensure he'll never have to go back into it -- lands the guy re-dead and done.

Doctor Jo or nah?

Jo (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe) doesn't remember her messy nuptials, but she does remember how to bandage wounds, so Alaric (Matt Davis) thinks that it's just a matter of time before the rest of it comes back to her. But ... not so much.

Suddenly, certain deets from her real former life come back into mind, and it is not the story he remembers. And once he finds out the truth about the Stone, he doesn't much care. He's willing to take this Jo and make her his own, too. Is that weird?

All the mean girls

Damon, Stefan and Val are able to locate Julian's casket just in time for her fellow heretics to catch up and douse their little plan. One well-timed explosion gets the Salvatore Bros. out of their way just in time to bring Julian home and back to life. Enzo tries to him-or-me it with her, but she made THAT choice decades ago. (And yes, it's the real Julian that successfully reunites with his body, so here we gooooo.)

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Valerie's Secret

Wanna know why Val hates this Julian guy so much? After hearing her story, you'll definitely hate him too.

See, it turns out that all the hot outdoor romance she and Stefan had once upon a time left her with child, and Julian, knowing that a BB Salvatore would be a distraction for their family plan to move to Europe, decided to make sure "there was nothing to tell" her would-be boyf. Which is why she never came back to him. Well, that changes things, doesn't it?

Now, Stefan's got a stake, so to speak, in Valerie's war with Julian. In fact, he wants to be the one who drops the proverbial ax on this dude.

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Do-right Damon

Damon's vowed to make Elena-friendly decisions, sure, but offing Julian is squarely in the exceptions category because revenge is a dish Elena would probably serve in this case (we guess?).

See, it turns out that it was Lily's idea to bind Elena's body to the death of her BFF Bonnie, so she's responsible for all his impending heartache and loneliness. Some mom, sheesh.

"I want her to taste true happiness. And then I want to rip his head off right in front of her. I want to break her heart. I want to break her spirit. I want to destroy her," he tells Bonbon. FWIW, she totally seconds that emotion.

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But what about Steroline?

Stefan's been so hell-bent on being way over Valerie because she left him and never called, but now that we know the truth about their history -- and how she was so troubled by what happened that she actually tried to take her own life, not knowing she had vampire blood in her system (how much of this do we believe, BTW?) -- he's kinda meh on Caroline all of a sudden.

One minute he's planning to sweep her off her feet for some romantic dinner date, and the next? Lies on the phone while he asks his ex to stay the night at his house. Not cool, Stefan. NOT COOL.