We love us some "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," but the Triwizard Tournament was kind of THE WORST. Sure, it was great for entertainment — both of the in-universe and meta narrative varieties — but it was bad for pretty much everything else.
If you'll recall, the Triwizard Tournament was touted as an exercise in international magic cooperation, but — unless you consider Viktor Krum stalking Hermione as vital to the future of the magical community — it didn't seem to really fulfill that purpose. Despite Ron's best efforts...
Looking back, the Triwizard Tournament ended up being one of those school projects you went along with because, you know, school, but — especially in retrospect — was a pretty terrible idea.
Here are 11 times the Triwizard Tournament was the worst school project EVER.
It was originally suspended because too many students were dying.
The tournament was originally suspended in 1792 not only because too many students were dying, but because a cockatrice broke free from the event and went on a destructive rampage. Cockatrice rampages are never a good sign.
The competition was revived in 1994 — aka the year "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" was set — because that seems like a good idea! Extra measures were taken to ensure students, you know, not dying. (Spoiler: this plan did not work out.)
You just know Ludo Bagman and Barty Crouch Sr. brought the tournament back to offset some ministry budget cuts to their departments or something. Or just to make more money in general. Even in wizarding society, capitalism rears its ugly, cockatrice-like head.
Harry was straight-up forced to participate.Warner Bros. Pictures
Sure, school projects are often forced upon us, but rarely do they involve the threat of legitimate death — or our principal/mentor charging towards us like a cockatrice on a rampage. Harry did not choose to participate in the Triwizard Tournament; Barty Crouch Jr. entered his name as part of a long plan to deliver him to the Dark Lord.
Harry didn't want any part of it (OK, Ron?!), but his efforts to remove himself from the competition fell on deaf ears because, apparently, it's more important to listen to a magical goblet than the Boy Who Lived And Who Would Really Like To Continue To Keep On Living, If That's Alright With You.
Cheating is considered part of the event.
You heard that right: it's an unspoken tradition that the champions and their mentors cheat their way to victory, if given the chance. Sure, not all of them embrace this method and, if you're caught, it's bad, but still. This is the school project equivalent of one kid doing all of the work while the others goof off and find out about secret dragons being kept in the Forbidden Forest through nefarious methods. Which is THE WORST.
It was kind of disruptive to actual learning.
What kind of self-respecting school project is detrimental to learning?! That would be the Triwizard Tournament. Not only was Harry so stressed about finding ways to not-die in his next competition that he sometimes didn't sleep, but when did we ever see Fleur, Viktor, or the other Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students that came to Hogwarts studying?
(Maybe they took classes with the current Hogwarts sixth and seventh years? It's never really clarified. For all we know, Fleur and Viktor spent all of their time preparing for their tasks. Feel free to discuss in the comments below.)
Media coverage seems part of the deal.Warner Bros. Pictures
Oh, hey, in addition to being forced into this life-threatening school project, you're also going to be asked invasive personal questions about your dead parents. Hope that's OK!
Its organizer was secretly keeping his son hostage.
Speaking of Barty Crouch, Sr., can we talk about how he had been keeping his son hostage under the Imperious Curse for more than a decade? Yeah, not the dude you want in charge of your group project. This sort of thing generally speaks to poor judgement.
It included frakking dragons.
Doing a school project about dragons? Awesome. Doing a school project against dragons? Super scary.
It meant no Quidditch.Warner Bros. Pictures
We need to skip a whole year of Quidditch just so we can grow the pitch into an overgrown maze? No, thank you. This had to piss off all of the Quidditch players who didn't even get to compete in the tournament. We're just thankful Oliver Wood had already graduated at this point. Can you IMAGINE the heartbreak?
No one even actually got to watch the end.
Can we talk about how lame the planned staging for the third task in the Triwizard Tournament was? Sure, they splurged on a pretty killer marching band to keep the crowd entertained, but there were hedges in the way of all of the action. Get your act together, Ludo.
It ended in Cedric Diggory's death.
Its revival brought about the return of Lord Voldemort.
Um, whoops? ...At least the Triwizard Tournament was productive for someone.