17 Reasons Zombies Make Pretty Good Boyfriends

To celebrate the 25th anniversary of “Night of the Living Dead,” we’re taking our zombie love to the next level.

The remake of “Night of the Living Dead” shambled onto the big screen in bloody living color on October 19, 1990. While the 1968 black and white original kicked off our love of the undead, the remake increased our obsession with the flesh-eating fiends. Now zombies are everywhere, in books, movies, and television.

Many of the stories, like “Warm Bodies” and “iZombie,” have started to make zombies the heroes, and sometimes even the *gasp* love interest. So in honor of the 25th anniversary of the “Night of the Living Dead,” we’re contemplating the reasons it’s not totally insane to consider a zombie for your next bae ... as long as you can get past the smell.

  1. He’s attracted to your brains.

    Yeah, that one’s kind of obvious, but it’s always nice to be lusted after because of your brains rather than something superficial like your face or your body.

  2. It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

    Sure, he may look rough on the outside, but just like he loves you for your brains, you love him for what’s inside. Even if what’s inside sometimes leaks outside.

  3. He’s cool with PDA.

    In fact, he can’t keep his hands – or his teeth – off you no matter where you are.

  4. No arguing about where to eat.

    Chinese? Italian? Mexican? No more long, passive-aggressive discussions about where to eat dinner. Now just go where you want to eat, and he can dine on the waiter.

  5. He’s down with a quiet night at home.

    Sometimes you just don’t feel like getting dolled up to go out.

  6. No worries about how you look when you wake up.

    Because he’s always going to look worse.

  7. He’s a killer dancer.

    His slick moves will slay you.

  8. He makes you laugh.

    Everybody loves clowns. Never mind. Combining a zombie with a clown might be the most terrifying thing ever.

  9. He’s well educated.

    There’s nothing sexier than a smart guy who loves to travel.

  10. He’s a snazzy dresser.

    Before becoming undead, many zombies were buried in their best suits, so if you ignore the blood and dirt, they’re looking sharp.

  11. He likes the same music as you.

    He’ll bop along to whatever you play.

  12. He’ll always listen to you.

    When you’re ready to have that ‘define the relationship’ talk, he can’t run away.

  13. He’s completely drawn to you.

    So nothing will stop him from being with his lady love.

  14. No competition.

    For some reason, other women do not see the appeal of your undead man.

  15. Sometimes he looks like this ...
  16. ... or this ...
  17. ... or this.

    ‘Nuff said.


VMAs 2017