Johnny Depp doesn't want an Oscar, guys.
Even though he's on the radar for the upcoming awards season thanks to his performance in "Black Mass," Depp says he just doesn't "want to win one of those things ever." Like forever ever (cute the Outkast meme).
Depp -- who's been thrice nominated, for "Sweeney Todd," "Finding Neverland" and the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" installment -- claims that a nod (or three) is enough of an honor for his like, and he doesn't want to "compete with anybody" for an Academy Award anymore.
But a lot of his cinematic alter egos would probably beg to differ and would *love* to get their hands on one of those shiny golden statues. Here are a few that come to mind.
Raoul Duke from "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
Raoul Duke would've had a hell of a good time bringing some of his gonzo journalism techniques to the Oscars -- if he could even make it to the right place at the right time, that is.
Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean"
Aye, matey! Captain Jack would SO want to get his swashbucklin' mitts on one and add it to his bounty. Hell, he might even wear it as a hairpiece.
George Jung from "Blow"
Young George Jung would want an Academy Award too -- although he'd probably try to sell it for some more you-know-what.
Edward Scissorhands from "Edward Scissorhands"
Eddie Siz would've loved to have one too because oooh ahhhh people stuff -- but of course he'd have to get someone else to hold it during his acceptance speech.
Cry-Baby from "Cry-Baby"
The tear-tatted jailbird could've used the trophy as a bartering tool behind bars, so yeah, that would've come in handy for him.
Glen Lantz from "A Nightmare On Elm Street"
Meanwhile, poor Glen might've been able to wield his mini-statue as a weapon against Freddie Krueger in his time of need, ya know? Plus, we all know how much the kid loved his TV time.
Sweeney Todd from "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Presumably, he'd have taken home the win for the make-up and hair-styling category, which would bring in a lot of
fresh meatnew customers to his shop, for sure.
Willy Wonka from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
Weird Wonka would *probably* find a way to make it edible and all, but he'd still love to add it to the Wonka's Cool Stuff Collective. He probably wouldn't show up to the ceremony, though, to maintain his air of ~mystery.~
The Mad Hatter from "Alice In Wonderland"
Hatter would relish the opportunity to celebrate his very merry unbirthday on the Oscars stage and talk tea with the crowd.