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James Franco Reimagined The Red Wedding, And It Was Hilarious

Tyrion marries Joffrey and all hell breaks loose.

Whether or not Jon Snow's last occupation really killed him last season on "Game of Thrones," he still might have been better off picking up another, perhaps less knife-wieldy trade, no? Something with a slightly cheerier purpose?

Wedding planning seems as safe a profession as any under normal circumstances, but a wedding in Westeros is practically the most dangerous place to be in the entire Realm.

So when James Franco tried to reimagine the gory HBO drama as a happy sitcom (sans all the slayings and dragons and mutilations), pegging Jon Snow as a party planner for the unholy union of Tyrion Lannister and his full-blooded nephew Joffrey Baratheon of course turned into a full-on disaster. Of course.

In the latest installment of his AOL web series "Making A Scene," Franco came up with "Modern Thrones," a completely NSFW twist on the Red Wedding that's somehow even more deadly than the original.

"I couldn't take any more death and destruction or dragons. I retired from the Night's Watch. I foresook my vows and decided to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a wedding planner," Francsnow explained about his career shift. "Imagine how upset I was when I saw them walk in with dragons and swords, the Dothraki ready to fight. There was even a White Walker.

"I just want to marry these two dudes, OK? I don't want anybody's penis to be cut off and eaten on my watch."

Spoiler alert: He did not get his wish.