After taking two months off to, um, release
the Holy Grail of pop diva-dom her self-titled fifth studio album, Beyoncé has made her triumphant return to "The Mrs. Carter Show World Tour." Kicking off a new European leg in Glasgow on Feb. 20, the "Drunk In Love" singer introduced tracks from BEYONCÉ to the set list, surely sending many an audience member into flawlessness-induced anaphylactic shock. A moment of silence, please.
Along with "***Flawless," "Blow," and "Haunted," Bey whipped out the first-ever live performance of Stan-favorite "Partition," bringing the Jake Nava-directed clip to life with LED animal prints and stripper-pole moves. Send your favorite Glaswegian a mental Heimlich maneuver, because they are surely still GAG-GING.
You see, as much as the BeyHive understands why Bey had to stick with performing the ballad "XO" at the BRIT Awards on Wednesday night, they've craved nothing more than "seeing Yoncé on her knees" -- much to the chagrin of drivers and people with bad taste everywhere.
AND THEN CAME THE CHAISE LOUNGE/POMMEL HORSE BREAK. We just can't. We're done. Beyoncé has just Monica Lewinsky'd on the gown of LIFE. She's won everything. All the things ever. Bye.
(Full disclosure: I may or may not be writing this while wearing my "SURFBOARD" sweatshirt. Journalistic integrity, and all that.)
Photo credit: Beyoncé's Tumblr, MTV