BRB, marking my territory with all these tears.
In stark contrast from the quick-cut, frenetic, club banger pace of "Work B**ch," Britney Spears' new video for "Perfume" is equal parts sweeping and tragic. Telling a tale of infidelity and betrayal, the Joseph Kahn-directed clip will definitely mark its territory all over your soul. In fact, we wouldn't be surprised to learn if the original working title for "Perfume" was "Eau d'ALL THE TEARS."
Just how sad is the music video for the second single off of Britney Jean? Ummm, you've listened to the track before, right? Now imagine if that cheated-on heroine was none other than Ms. Brit-Brit herself, and the guy inspiring the "is he or isn't he" line of questioning is played by Norwegian supermodel Alexander Kjellevik.
Here, read on to see what we mean. We've broken down all 19 of the saddest "Perfume" video moments, scene by tragic scene. If you can still read your screen by the end of our rundown, then you're either illiterate or a robot. GO FORTH!
1.) When Britney and her man are all happy in the beginning. HELLO, remember the lyrics??
2.) How can Brit be so tragically powerful with only one eye?? Thank Godney she didn't use 'em both.
3.) Why the laughing? SHE ABOUT TO LOSE HIM.
4.) That moment where Britney's all, "I'm trying to be cool." You ARE cool! And funky! And email! Where's your self-confidence?? :(
5.) When you remember that your pillow at home is NOT Alexander Kjellevik's hot bod.
Watch Britney Spears' "Perfume" video after the jump.
6.) Awwwww, Britney made her man a promise ring, Kentwood-style.
7.) When Alexander first hints at his cheating. Look at that piercing, far-off stare!
OK... Maybe that's just what his supermodel eyes always look like.
8.) That perfectly pointed finger formation. Imagine all the Spearitual hand choreo we're missing!
9.) That "don't leave me" grip -- does she know what's about to happen??
10.) This vision from Godney. Why is it only for a second?!
12.) Oh no, this knowing look! Alexander's infidelity comes to light!
And by TEXT MESSAGE?!?! How rude!
13.) When Britney realizes there's not enough Fantasy in the world to mask the scent of betrayal.
14.) This "Stronger"-esque scene is worrying. We thought Brit's loneliness ain't killin' her no more!
15.) Solo hotel cry -- we can't!
16.) THEY'RE SO MEAN.
17.) When Alexander pauses to think about what he's done, only to decide to continue cheating on Brit with
18.) STOP CRYING, BRITNEY, STAHHHHHHHHP.
19.) Britney Spears ends up alone and heartbroken at the end of one of her videos? I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
+ Watch Britney Spears' "Perfume" video.
Photo credit: RCA Records