Lady Gaga’s ArtRave Could Mean ANYTHING, But Here’s What We Hope The ‘ARTPOP’ Ball Tour Looks Like! (GIFS)

Gaga’s “Mona Lisa” smile is probably FULL of artRave secrets!

Our minds are absolutely racing right now, musing over what possible stunts Lady Gaga will pull out on her upcoming artRave: The ARTPOP Ball Tour stops in 2014! Kicking off on May 4 in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., and wrapping in L.A. on July 21, the set’s obviously gonna be in-SANE.

I mean, Mother Monster’s always on the hunt for ways to top herself — and HELLO, the Born This Way Ball featured, like, a monstrous birth scene, a mobile motorcycle suit, and an absolutely MASSIVE castle fortress set!

So, while we await actual legit details on what we can expect from the “Do What U Want” singer’s tour, we hope you don’t mind if we let our minds wander. Based on what we’ve seen so far in the ARTPOP era, we predict that the artRave will boast…

1.) Wigs on wigs on wigs on wigs!

Seeing as how Gaga’s been all about the fake hair this year — her VMA performance alone featured three wig changes, or five if you count the wig cap and that white square headpiece. By our tally… Hmmm, let’s see… Carry the three… The “Venus” songstress will whip out a whopping 488,092 wigs at the artRave! (And that’s not even counting all the ones she’ll be snatching come opening night.)

2.) An R. Kelly cameo!

No offense to Gaga’s super highly trained professional backup dancers. (Each and every one of whom can obviously get it any day of the week IFYAKNOWWHATTAHMEAN.) But, no one can do sex push-ups like her “Do What U Want” collaborator. NO ONE.

Check out the rest of our artRave: The ARTPOP Ball Tour wishlist after the jump.

3.) A Volantis entrance?

The “Aura” songstress is known for her entrances. Remember the egg at the 2011 Grammys? What about that literal high horse at the AMAs in November? Well, we think we know she can top ’em both: VOLANTIS. That’s right, imagine if Lady Gaga lowered herself into the arena while wearing the flying dress from the artRave album release party?!?!

4.) Art references ga-LORE!

Let’s see, we’ve already seen Gaga collaborate with Marina Abramovic on that naked zen meditation video, Robert Wilson on those Louvre portraits, and Jeff Koons on her album cover. We have a pretty good feeling that we’ll see many of those same allusions — and more — on display on the big stage. But WHAT though?! Ohhhh, all this anticipation is giving us some major Koons-level blue balls. #TMI #SorryBoutIt

5.) Dance. Sex. Art. Honk.

Ummmmmm, we can’t be the only ones still obsessing over that fowl creature featured in the “Applause” music video, right?? VIVA LA GOOSE-GA!!!!

Photo credit: Getty Images / GIFs: Gavin Alaoen of MTV, @CJZero via FanSided, Junkee, PandaWhale, T. Kyle MacMahon of Reality TV GIFs

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