All that you see before you AND MORE are going down tonight on the MTV EMA!
So maybe we're a little late on this, but how would y'all like to start learning a word of Dutch a day to prepare for the Amsterdam-hosted 2013 MTV EMA? Sure, it's, um, TONIGHT, but better late than never, yeah? OK, today's word is "vlekkeloos," which roughly translates in English to "FLAWLESS YAAAAASS." Trust us, if that's the only word of Dutch you know for tonight's awards ceremony, you'll be more than fine. K?
Why are we so confident? Ummm, have you been living under a rock? (Guhh, what's your damage, Heather? DROP THE ROCK, HEATHER.) Only insanely amazing performances from Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Bruno Mars, and... you know what? Let's give every effing "vlekkeloos" thing the time it deserves. Let's go!
1.) UNIDENTIFIED TWERKING OBJECT
While we have no clue which Bangerz track Miley will perform tonight at the EMA ("4x4"? "SMS (Bangerz)"? "Do My Thang"?), we do know that it will be alien-themed. Oh, and that she'll possibly be wearing a Red Foo-inspired Speedo. So, that's what, like, two questions answered and forty-five gah-jillion raised? BWARGH.
2.) ARIANA VS. AUSTIN
Since the Artist On The Rise category was announced, Ariana Grande and Austin Mahone have been neck and neck for votes. Which one of the two young stars will take it on home? Or, will Bridgit Mendler, Cody Simpson, Cher Lloyd, or Lorde come up from behind with some odd 15-million votes they've found behind the couch? WE SHALL SEE.
Find out more things you absolutely can't miss tonight on the 2013 MTV EMA after the jump.
3.) ARIANA WILL BE "RIGHT THERE"
At the EMA, that is. The Artist On The Rise nominee will serve as backstage host, holding down the Dutch fort from behind the scenes. What will the "Baby I" singer uncover from the Ziggo dome's darkest depths? Sentient tulips? Clogging mole people? Our favorite stars before they go onstage? Probably just that third thing, but still -- COOL.
4.) GENERAL RED FOO-LERY
While Ariana's herding your faves around backstage, LMFAO's own Red Foo will be going Dutch on the main stage as host of the 2013 MTV EMA. You know how he's always inappropriately nude over in the States? Well, guess what -- NOW HE'S IN EUROPE. The Speedo is about to get rede-FOINED, Euro-style.
5.) YOU'RE GONNA HEAR HER "ROAR"
On a more heavenly note, Katy's going to perform "Unconditionally" tonight. Remember, so far Katy has only released a lyric video for the second single off of Prism, so what this set's gonna look like could be anyone's guess.
6.) SOMETHING TO "TREASURE"
OMFG, and how did we get all the way to No. 6 on this list without mentioning Bruno's sure to be show-stopping EMA performance?! Like, obviously Europe is gonna bring out a whole new level of Hooligan-ism in the "Gorilla" crooner.
7.) FAVES ON FAVES ON FAVES ON FAVES
8.) MOAR FAVEZ
The 2013 MTV EMA presenters include Iggy Azalea, Ellie Goulding, Colton Haynes of "Teen Wolf," Carice Van Houten of "Game Of Thrones," Rita Ora, Bridgit Mendler, and 30 Seconds To Mars frontman, Jared Leto. #PRAISE, Echelon, #PRAISE.
9.) AMERICA DEMANDS MOOOOOOOAR
And it all starts tonight with a very special, America-only program beginning tonight at 7 p.m. ET! Direct from Times Square in New York City, tune in to MTV to watch Cher Lloyd, Darren Criss of "Glee," and Andrew Shulz of "Guy Code" host an America-only EMA broadcast featuring live performances by Fall Out Boy, Jason Derulo, The Wanted, Ariana Grande, and Austin Mahone. GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Photo credit: MTV, Getty Images, RCA, Republic Records / GIF: Starcrush