Goodnight, sweet princes.
Making for a date that will live in infamy, the Jonas Brothers officially confirmed their breakup earlier today. No more bearing with ’em, no more holding, no more waiting until they get their sh** together — Kevin, Joe, and Nick are going their separate ways.
But, even though the “First Time” singers already had the “Last Time” and we didn’t even know it, don’t be crushed! (TOO LATE.) Here are 10 easy-to-handle ways for you to cope with this sudden, tragic news. We’re all gonna get through this — it’s gonna be OK.
1.) Go outside. The fresh air will do you well.
2.) Go back inside. Fresh air is overrated.
3.) Nick Jonas’ arms. LOOK AT THEM.
Learn more ways to deal with this depressing JoBro news after the jump.
6.) Play Boggle with the name of Joe’s girlfriend, Blanda Eggenschwiler. (Literally already found four words.)
9.) Use Morph Thing to figure out what Kevin’s and YOUR baby will look like.
10.) WEEP over how ugly your baby would be.
See? Now you’re completely distraught over something else. You’re welcome!