Justin Bieber Was CARRIED Up The Great Wall Of China, Met An Adorable Baby & Rode A Segway Shirtless In Beijing! DUDE WAS BUSY!

Now that’s the face of someone who had the best weekend evaaaa!

So, uh… what did you do this past weekend? We’re only asking because Justin Bieber spent his FriSatSun (it’s a cool new abbrev, kids love it) performing at his Beijing Believe Tour stop, ruggedly scaling being CARRIED UP the Great Wall of China, whipping out some nunchuks, serenading the most adorable li’l Belieber ever, riding a Segway, and SO MUCH MORE.

Yep, the Biebs just put us ALL to shame. And here I was, thinking that I was so cool and cultured for having attended the closing night of “Anna Nicole,” the opera based on the life of the late, great celeb-reality pioneer (and 2004 World Music Awards after-party attendee). BUT NOPE! Take it from me, one empty non-Bieber husk of a wasted human life to another: You haven’t LIVED until you’ve done all this and more in a single weekend.


At the risk of sounding like a wannabe cool dad, that’s pretty bawse. (#SorryNotSorry) Based on the hunched-over pose, JB’s probably checking to see how many likes his latest shirtless Instagram post got. Our estimate? ALL OF THEM.

Check out more photos from Justin Bieber’s super cray Believe Tour stop in China.

It looks like that fan’s recording Justin on his phone.

As always, Justin’s pants are saggin’ the eff out — this time in a tasteful black instead of purple Rugrats retro. It looks like he’s showing off some moves for an on-the-Wall Belieber. Our bets are either on that futuristic robo-meets-alien choreography from his “Take Me” Billboard performance, or JB’s giving his best Pocahontas impression.

If there’s one thing that Justin Bieber needs right now, it’s DEFINITELY nunchuks.

OK, guys, who gave Justin the nunchuks?!?! We’re looking at you, Ryan Butler. (Remember? The Biebs’ BFF who made a cameo in Madison Beer’s “Melodies” video? THAT GUY.)

Riding shirtless makes you faster. #FACT

As the old saying goes: “It wouldn’t be a Believe Tour backstage photo without Justin’s trusty Segway!” Wait, that’s not a saying? No? Well… it should be!

Well hello, gun show, funny seeing you here.

Not one to play it safe, the “Lolly” performer even expanded his repertoire of mobile, two-wheeled vehicles to include this bicycle. And what pairs better with a bike, but a gas mask — er, we mean police hat! (Wait, did he steal this from a policeman on a bike? OH WELL!)

Carried up the Great Wall of China? Saggin’ so hard he deserves a Screen Actors’ Guild Award? (A SOLID JOKE.) To say that Justin Bieber had an insane weekend in China is, like, the understatement of the century. Now, let’s cool our vicariously pumped-up adrenaline by watching the most adorable moment of the entire Beijing tour stop: When Justin rocked a li’l baby Belieber in his arms. CAN’T. DIE. FIN.

+ Watch Justin Bieber meet the most adorable baby in all of China, and possibly the world.

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