23 Things Mike WiLL Made It + Miley Cyrus’ ’23’ Video Has That Our High School Definitely Did NOT

This is DEFINITELY not a page right out of our yearbook.

It’s finally here! Mike WiLL Made It has just dropped his much-anticipated “23” video featuring his “We Can’t Stop” collaborator Miley Cyrus (who somehow managed to squeeze a video shoot into her busy schedule of grinding on knock-off Elmos and posing topless for Rolling Stone), Wiz Khalifa, and Juicy J.

While the super-fun clip totally taps into our teen years nostalgia, we think it’d be a stretch to say that our high school experience was anywhere NEAR as insane as the one depicted in “23”! Twerking cheerleaders? Chem teachers who moonlight as world-famous rappers?? High school bands that don’t suck?! Here are the 23 ways that “23” differs VASTLY from what we #peasants remember about high school.


1.) AN INCREDIBLY LAX DRESS CODE:
Crop tops and booty shorts? We’re pretty sure that your ensemble does NOT reach the end of your finger tips when standing, Miss Cyrus.


2.) SOMEONE COOL BEHIND THE P.A.:
We didn’t have some musically talented big man on campus (à la Mike WiLL in the clip) whipping us into a tightly choreographed frenzy. Where do you think we went, the high school from “She’s All That”? (Hay, Usher.)

+ Watch the super unrealistically choreographed prom scene from “She’s All That.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqiYAp4hxAU


3.) TWERKING CHEERLEADERS:
“We’ve got spirit, yes we do! We’ve got spirit, how ’bout MY ASS.”

Watch Mike WiLL Made It’s “23” video featuring Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, and Juicy J after the jump.


4.) ANY CHEERLEADERS, ACTUALLY: 
Maybe our school’s cheerleaders twerked too hard for the administration’s taste? Anyway, the closest we ever got to a true cheer-ocracy was when we re-enacted the opening scene of “Bring It On” in the mirror, alone with all of our friends because we were popular and had many of them.

+ Watch the opening scene of “Bring It On,” which you OBVIOUSLY know all the words to.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWLdsqhYVxM


5.) A CLASS COUPLE LIKE MIKE + MILEY:
What, did you have a “Cutest/ Most Ratchet Couple” superlative in your yearbook? …Not that Miley and Mike WiLL are dating, or anything! Can’t a couple o’ friends casually twerk up against each other? THANKS, PURITAN AMERICA. #MICDROP


6.) SMOKING IN THE GIRLS’ ROOM:
Because it’s bad for your health, girl! Related: SMOKERZ ARE JOKERZ.


7.) WIZ KHALIFA AS OUR CHEMISTRY TEACHER:
Everyone gets an A+, along with whatever is in that beaker.


8.) ALL THAT GRINDING:
Remember how teachers would carry around rulers at dances just to make sure that everyone was at least 6-8 inches apart? “Room for the Lord,” and all that.


9.) FLATTERING LIGHTING:
Where are all the fluorescent bulbs?! #Realism, people.


10.) ZERO PIMPLES:
Our pores are, like, big gaping holes of seething jealousy right now.


11.) HAPHAZARDLY PLACED TROPHIES:
Paging fictional high school, ever heard of a trophy case? HA, BURN! Ugh, I’ve gotta stop talking to fictional high schools.


12.) PERMISSION TO GET ON THE BASKETBALL HOOP:
Well, technically we never asked… but still!


13.) THIS MUCH CONFIDENCE IN A LOCKER ROOM:
Hmmm… we remember a lot more crying and a lot more “WHY IS MY WEIRD BODY DOING THESE WEIRD THINGS”-related shame before gym class…


14.) COED LOCKER ROOMS, PERIOD:
Yeah, wait, now THAT’S the thing that our awkward, hormonal teen years were missing: boys and girls sharing the same vulnerable, intimate space!


15.) REASONS TO CHANGE CLOTHES OTHER THAN GYM CLASS:
OK, OK, so sometimes we got caught in a ketchup vs. mustard bottle crossfire, but nothing as glamorous as “being Miley.”


16.) GYMNASIUMS THAT DOUBLED AS CONCERT VENUES:
Unless you count the gym-atorium, which was known to host such traveling entertainment as “Homer the Homework-Loving Bear Presents: Smoking’s Not Cool Like Recycling, My Good Pals, and Other Such Parables!”


17.) ALL THE CHICAGO BULLS UNIFORMS:
When you go to school in Celtics territory, you wear Celtics gear or else. #Fact


18.) OUR OWN PORTABLE STEREO:
Yoooo, Sister Helen Eugenia woulda snatched it like THAT!


19.) ALL THAT TONGUE ACTION:
Ummmm, have you not picked up on the whole “WE WERE AWKWARD IN HIGH SCHOOL, WAHH” narrative yet??


20.) A SCHOOL BAND THAT WASN’T TERRIBLE:
Please don’t make us remember. We would OBVIOUSLY take Mike, Miley, Wiz, and Juicy over this monstrosity ANY DAY.

+ Watch in horror as the worst high school band ever plays on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR2NNV0qAEI


21.) THIGH FANNY PACKS:
Are we just, like, #old or something? Is that what that silvery leg accessory is? We did NOT have those back in high school. #WhyInMyDay #FifteenMiles #UphillBothWays


22.) ALSO, THAT FOAM FINGER:
C’mon, who wouldn’t have loved to have Miley’s now-iconic VMA foam finger handy in high school?


23.) THIS MESS:
Our high school had a flawless janitorial staff. FLAWLESS.


+ Watch MIKE WILL MADE IT’S “23” VIDEO FEATURING MILEY CYRUS, WIZ KHALIFA, AND JUICY J.

Photo credit: Interscope, Getty Images