We're still reeling from this IN-SANE extravaganza!
Miley Cyrus' life-changing nipple pasties! Ke$ha's Illuminati shout-outs! More surprise trap moments from Justin Timberlake and Katy Perry than even Admiral Ackbar would've known what to do with! This past weekend's iHeartRadio Music Festival served up a TON of crazy ish. So, before we all faint from the epic insanity, bang our heads, lose our short-term memory, and live out the rest of our lives like Guy Pearce in "Memento" (#science), let's review all of it right here, right now!
1.) MILEY CYRUS' ONSTAGE BREAKDOWN: As "Wrecking Ball" neared its climax, Miley became noticeably emotional -- especially around the "Don't you ever say I just walked away" line. Considering the fact that this all happened while she was wearing that eye-popping pasties-and-mesh outfit, we're pretty sure this High Camp Hall of Fame moment will provide drag queens with ample material for months to come.
2.) BRITNEY SPEARS' INTRODUCTION: The "Work Bitch" singer channeled her inner drag queen to introduce Miley's set, announcing: "My girl's about to get to work, bitch!" (Hopefully some of that diva-lesque swagger will be carried over into their "SMS (Bangerz)" duet!!)
3.) DRAKE'S JADEN SMITH SHIRT: The "Hold On, We're Going Home" performer loved Jaden's reaction to his VMA performance so much, that he decided to wear it. TBH, that's kinda our face anytime we catch sight of Drake. #CallUs
4.) DANITY KANE'S REUNITED VOCALS: Still fresh from their VMA reunion, Shannon, Dawn, Aubrey, and Drea welcomed The Wanted to the stage with an a cappella rendition of "Damaged." Although the #ladeez didn't perform their rumored comeback single, "Rage," we are more than satisfied with this itty-bitty heavenly step back inside the dollhouse.
Check out more photos of the craziest ish that went down at the iHeartRadio Music Festival after the jump.
5.) ADAM LAMBERT ENTERS FULL QUEEN MODE: Joined by Queen and the rest of fun., Adam's live rendition of "Fat Bottomed Girls" was seriously AH-MAY-ZING. Also, did you see the "Lay Me Down" singer's dynamic onstage chemistry with fun. frontman Nate Ruess? Like, it just makes all of my ridiculous, outlandish fantasies so much easier to envision! Thanks, iHeartRadio Music Festival.
6.) KE$HA'S SURPRISE GUESTS: First, the "Crazy Kids" singer invited legendary rock icon Joan Jett out for an unexpected live version of "Bad Reputation." Then, Ke$ha brought her "Tik Tok" lyrics to life by whipping out a bottle o' Jack Daniels -- wait, where's the toothbrush?!
7.) KE$HA'S ILLUMINATI SYMBOLISM: The pyramids! The all-seeing eyes! Coming soon to a 20-minute-long YouTube conspiracy theory video near you!
8.) KATY PERRY'S SURPRISE EN-TRAP-MENT: During the debut live performance of "Dark Horse," Katy brought out none other than Juicy J when the time came for the featured artist's verse. Insert your own "cast a spell on us" joke here!
9.) JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S JUICY J MOMENT: The "Roar" singer wasn't the only iHeartRadio performer giving a shout-out to the "Lolly" rapper. Justin combined his classic hit "Cry Me A River" with Juicy J's "Bandz A Make Her Dance" to create a mashup that we're calling "Bandz A Make Her Cry Me A River (Flawless Remix)."
10.) THIRTY SECONDS TO BARBADOS: Frontman Jared Leto opened with a live cover of Rihanna's "Stay," which Thirty Seconds To Mars had previously blessed us with on BBC's Radio 1 "Live Lounge." They also dedicated it to me! PROVE THAT THEY DIDN'T.
11.) BEYOND AVRIL-DOME: Avril Lavigne conjured up all kinds of "Mad Max"-iness during her live set at the iHeartRadio Music Festival. BRB, gotta go picture Mel Gibson and Tina Turner going head-to-head with the "Rock N Roll" singer and an aggressively feral bear-shark!!!!
12.) J. COLE MUST'VE READ HIS FANMAIL: #PRAISE! The legendary T-Boz and Chilli of TLC surprised us all by joining J. Cole on stage for their Born Sinner collabo, "Crooked Smile." Is this what it sounds like when doves cry?
Photo credit: Getty Images