Saints preserve us! Ariana Grande is FINE!
When we heard that Ariana Grande had strained her vocal chords, we literally felt like we had been strapped to that chair in “A Clockwork Orange,” had our eyes pried open, and were forced to watch that scene in “The Lion King” where Mufasa gets trampled by the stampeding herd of wildebeest over and over and over. #ImTheDramaticOne
But as it turns out, the “Baby I” singer is totally OK! Taking to Instagram, Ariana explains that she’s “actually completely fine” and goes on to detail what really happened in a super quick video clip.
Watch Ariana Grande’s Instagram video after the jump.
Shot in what we can only assume to be the “Yours Truly, Pretty Pretty Princess!” filter, Ariana clears the air on her supposedly damaged vocal chords: “Hey, everybody on Instagram telling me to feel better. Thank you so much for the well wishes, but I’m actually completely fine. My voice is healthy; I’m talking right now. I just lost my voice at a party for my album, but I’m completely fine now, thank you!” She closes the video by blowing a kiss, but we’re pretty sure that was intended just for us so… #bye.
For all we know, “The Way” singer really did suffer a hemorrhaged vocal chord, and we nonmedical people just assumed that, in layman’s terms, that translates to: “Ursula the sea witch crawled out from her murky grotto to steal Grande’s voice and wear it as a seashell accessory.” (Maybe she just got Lady Gaga’s Swine Fest dress code memo?)
Regardless, it seems like the real lesson in all this is that we Arianators/ Ariana Army soldiers/ Ari-stannas need to CHILL. If we ever hear girlfriend coughing, we’ll remember not to immediately assume that she’s got the black lung. #NoPromises
Photo credit: Ariana Grande’s Instagram