11 Brooklyn Spots I’ll Take My VMA Date, Drake, Who’s Performing At The 2013 VMAs!

Started from the bottom, now Drake’s performing at the 2013 VMAs!

The VMAs went and saved the best for last. The last being the last performer announced (or IS it?), and the best being Drake, who’s performing at the 2013 VMAs! He’ll be performing “Started From The Bottom,” to which I say “HYFR,” which is also probably what Drake will be saying if he wins either or both of the two 2013 VMAs he’s nominated for — “Best Direction” and “Best Hip Hop Video,” both for “Started From The Bottom.”

Now I happen to love Drake, and what’s not to love? He’s a nice Jewish boy, he remembers to call his grandmother, he respects authorities, he’s serious bros with Khaled (huge plus IMO), and he truly deserves a Canadian Emmy for his fearless portrayal of Wheelchair Jimmy.

In addition to being a Drake expert, I’m also a Brooklyn resident, which is perfect since I’m sure when Drake performs at the VMAs, he’s going to need someone to show him around, maybe take him to dinner, protect him from Amanda Bynes, field his texts from The Weeknd, maybe change the sheets. You know. Show him some Brooklyn love. So, here’s a guide to the 11 Brooklyn spots I’ll take Drake before his VMA performance.

1.) SHAKE SHACK AT FULTON MALL: First, before the date, I’d stress eat my body weight plus the weight of my emotions in burgers. Off to Shake Shack I go!

2.) ADIDAS STORE AT BARCLAYS: I know Drake likes girls in sweatpants, so I’d pick up a pair of sweats at the Barclays Adidas store. So necessary post Shake Shack.

3.) WYTHE HOTEL: Will Drake stay at the Wythe? (Or will he stay at the DRAKE Hotel?) I don’t know, but that’s where the “cool kids” seem to like to say they go when in Brooklyn, so I’ll just assume we’re meeting up there. At the very least, I’ll spot someone in “Girls” or someone who knows someone who was an extra on the show. I imagine Drake will open the door all like…

4.) UVA WINES: We all know Drake loves wine, so we’ll make a stop at Uva Wines in Williamsburg. I’ll let Drake pick out a few bottles (Moscato, probz) to be popped later, of course.

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