Star Spotting: Adam Lambert Ups His Pirate Swagger With A Parrot (PHOTO)

It’s completely OK to be jealous of that parrot’s proximity to Adam Lambert. Lord knows we are.

Even though Adam Lambert’s probably trying to say “NBD, just hanging with a parrot. I win!” in the above photo, all we can focus on is the pure, unadulterated sexy pirate swagger he’s serving out of every pixel! Ah, I am whisked away to my ultimate fantasy, where Captain Lambert and I become lost at sea while hunting for booty (as in treasure, GUYS!), and all I can do to pass the time is to sit there and let him serenade me with beautiful ballads like “Never Close ARRRRRR Eyes!” (Get it? Pirates say “Arrr,” and the real song is “Never Close Our Eyes.”¬†Pirate jokes = comedy gold. FACT.)

The “Glee” cast member shared the bird-shouldered selfie on his Instagram along with the caption, “On dat Polly.” How Adam scored the photo opp in the first place aside, we’re kinda wondering why the parrot seems so camera-shy. If we managed to score a snapshot with the prince of glam, we’d smile BIG. But this bird is being such a little Anti-Paparazzi Polly! Unless… it’s actually¬†grabbing a front-row, all-access pass to Adam’s NECK PORN. Uh oh, Glamberts, looks like we’ve got a whole new species of Stans to compete with — Glam-birds.

Photo credit: Adam Lambert’s Instagram