New Video: Fiona Apple, 'Hot Knife'

Fiona Apple's so excited she just can't hide it in her new video for "Hot Knife."

Fiona Apple's so excited, she just can't hide it in her new "Hot Knife" video.

A wise woman once said: "The idler wheel is wiser than the driver of the screw, and whipping cords will serve you more than ropes will ever do." We have NO idea what this adage means, but we totally trust in the wise sage who first uttered the phrase -- Fiona Apple (the full 23-word verse is the name of her 2012 album). Though we haven't heard much from one of our favorite comeback artists of last year, her just-dropped frenetically warm music video for "Hot Knife"  (from The Idler Wheel...) has got us squirmy chair-dancing on the DL like we got an unmentionable STD or something -- BUT, LIKE, in a good way. There is SO a good way. Whatever, JUST PLAY THE CLIP.

Watch Fiona Apple's "Hot Knife" video after the jump.

Directed by Fiona Apple's ex Paul Thomas Anderson -- aka the man behind "Boogie Nights," "There Will Be Blood," and past Fiona videos like "Paper Bag," "Fast As You Can," and "Limp" -- the video begins with the singer keeping the beat on a timpani drum as she softly croons, "If I'm butter then he's a hot knife/ He makes my heart a Cinemascope screen/ Showing the dancing bird of paradise." Soon she bursts into full color (literally AND figuratively) with a staccato declaration of attraction ("He! Ex! Cites! Me!"). Additional Fionas are slowly added to the mix as they growl contralto or flit lightly through various refrains, some of which reverse the active/passive dynamic in the relationship: "I'm a hot knife he's a pad o' butter/ If I get a chance, I'm gonna show him that/ He's never gonna need another, never need another."

The result is a swirling glimpse into what (WE HOPE, WE HOPE, WE HOPE) it's like to be inside the "Criminal" singer-songwriter's head at any given moment. How cool would it be to emote in tightly woven 17-part harmonies to someone you're crushing on, as opposed to our usual "Hi, you are neat. Why yes, I did just scream at you from point-blank range. Would you like date?" #AudibleSigh. Well, at least we'll always be able to live vicariously through Fiona Apple's music videos until that time comes.

+ Watch Fiona Apple's "Hot Knife" video.

Photo credit: Epic